The Emerald Abyss
by brainysmrf
Summary: Sequel to Sweets Origins. Second story of Four. A difficult homecoming for Booth
1. Chapter 1

"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.' "

- John Greenleaf Whittier

During the month's after Gwen's death Booth spent time trying to find a new place for himself in the town and world that had not so long ago belonged to him. After 6 months of trying, he packed up Baba and moved to Richmond, Virginia. Close enough to Parker but far enough away from any reminders of Gwen. He took the position of deputy director of the field office there. It was mainly a desk job, pushing paper, but it was time consuming and he needed that. He lost himself there for nearly two years.

He kept in touch with Sweets, talking with him often but he remained closed off to everyone else he had left behind, with the exception of Parker. Even Brennan was unable to stay fully connected to him, they talked sporadically and when they did she always initiated the contact. He felt guilty for the way he had left but she said she understood and he believed her because she always meant what she said.

Then Sweets called and told him that he and Samantha were getting married, Booth seriously considered not attending. He had walked away from that life, from those people and he assumed returning to it would be unfair and painful for everyone involved. Then he couldn't stop thinking that Gwen would want him there.

So, now he found himself standing on the deck of a rented beach house in Nags Head, North Carolina by himself. Looking through the large glass windows, Booth could see Brennan and the rest of the team from the Jeffersonian laughing and dancing.

He had seen the obvious shock on all their faces as they had filtered into the church earlier that day, each one of them surprised to see him standing at the altar as Sweets' best man. He managed to avoid them after the ceremony by hiding outside and in back rooms.

There was a part of him, the biggest part of him that wanted to walk into that room and bridge the gap that he had created between them. He missed Brennan, he missed all of them and he knew that they would be more than happy to talk to him, to welcome him back into the fold. But he couldn't allow that, while he had started to get over the guilt he felt for Gwen's death - thanks to weekly counseling, he hadn't yet begun to tackle the guilt he felt for leaving all of them with no notice, no good-bye.

He decided to leave the reception down the back steps of the deck, stopping on the first floor to leave a note for Brennan with the coatroom attendant.

~Bones –

Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk, I got a call and had to go.

Tell everyone that I said hello and we'll be in touch soon – I promise.

~Booth

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"One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention."

- Clifton Fadiman

It had been over a year since the wedding when Booth received a call from Sweets asking him to come back to DC for Thanksgiving - the young doctor had news that he wanted to share but only in person. Booth hated the idea but Sweets was all Booth felt he had left of Gwen, so he agreed.

Booth had been back to the city at least once a month since he moved to see Parker but _only_ to see Parker. He had kept his promise and called Brennan a few days after the wedding. From that one call they started a weekly tradition of speaking on Wednesday nights, they had only missed 5 in a year. But even with them reconnecting he didn't tell her that he was coming back for the holiday – he feared that would put too much pressure on her.

When he got into town the Tuesday before the holiday he found himself oddly drawn to the Jeffersonian. He hadn't decided until that morning that he was definitely going to come so he didn't call ahead to let anyone know that he would be in town

When he walked into the lab, he was surprised by how the shiny, metallic place felt like home even after his 3 year absence. He was even more surprised when a certain forensic anthropologist's gaze lifted from the remains on the table in front of her and landed directly on him. The contempt he expected to see in her eyes for him being gone for so long was absent, in its place he saw joy for him finally returning.

"Booth..." she said just above a whisper but the sound carried throughout the entire lab. She made her way off the forensic platform toward him.

"Hey Bones." He reached out and hugged her. Brennan pulled back and looked at him as if she was examining him to verify that he wasn't a figment of her imagination.

The Brennan brain trust, along with Brennan's new partner Special Agent Sarah McCready, had gathered in the lounge area and were watching the once-partners down below. Booth's old friends wanted to rush down and welcome him back but they all knew that this moment was for Booth and Brennan and for them only.

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"Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person"

- Tennessee Williams

Angela and Sarah were hanging over the railing trying to catch the conversation taking place below. Hodgins and Cam had lost interest after the first few minutes but didn't want to interrupt Booth and Brennan so they took seats at the conference table behind the two women.

Angela watched them both carefully. She had witnessed her friend grieve the loss of her partner privately, behind closed doors and show a brave front to the rest of the world. Yes, Brennan understood why he had to leave but that didn't lessen the pain she felt when he did. Angela worried that him coming back for a short period of time would give Brennan false hope for something more.

"Ok, I knew he was good looking, you know from the pictures in her office, but not _this_ good looking" Sarah said turning to Angela.

"I know…he actually looks better now than he did before. I guess all that time alone gave him extra time to work out or find some new hair products or something." Angela responded without taking her eyes off of the partners.

"Why do you think he's here?" Sarah worried that eventually he would want his job back – after filling the position for 6 months, she couldn't see how anyone would ever want to leave it. She loved her position and the work she was doing. Brennan had been difficult in the beginning but Sarah was eager to learn and patient – eventually the two found a rhythm that was working for them.

"Brennan told me that Sweets asked him to come back for Thanksgiving and he agreed. But she wasn't sure if he would come – he hadn't mentioned it to her.".

"Whether he was coming or that he was invited?"

"Either. She said that when they talk they find ways of talking around anything of importance. Which is not normal, because there was a time when they talked about everything all the time – they never shut up. It even got them in trouble in court once…He looks weird. Cam do you think he looks weird?"

Cam stood and cleared her throat, "Look, people, I know it's a holiday week and the sudden appearance of Booth is….is surprising to say the least but we still have work to do. Come on." Cam herded the group away from the railing letting her own gaze linger on the awkward scene that was playing out down below. Booth did look different, not bad – just different.

Booth followed Brennan into her office. He felt like he was walking into the past – very little had changed there.

"Sweets wasn't sure if you would come."

"I wasn't aware that he told you he invited me." He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of where his place was.

"He didn't, Sam did."

"I didn't say anything to you because I wasn't sure if I was going to come."

She nodded slowly, "I understand." She too, stood in the middle of the room, it had been so long since he'd been there with her she wasn't sure what to do with herself. "Are you ok, being here?"

"I'm ok, Bones. I'm ok, you?"

"I'm fine, it's just..." She sighed, she had missed him she wanted to tell him just how much that but she knew that he harbored guilt for leaving and she feared that by admitting her own feelings she would only be adding to the guilt. "How's Richmond?"

"Quiet, slightly boring, I'm stuck in the office 90% of the time. I never thought I'd miss getting shot at so much. I've requested fieldwork but there just isn't enough to go around."

"Have you thought about transferring?"

"Why, have you scared away another partner?" He laughed quietly, even being away from DC he heard about what she had put some of the other guys through. Her current partner was her 5th since he had left. He even received a call or two from Cullen asking for advice.

"Actually, things with Agent McCready and I are working out quite well. It's been almost 6 months - that's the longest anyone has stayed except of course..." she trailed off while gesturing at him.

"Except for me, yeah." He sighed, "I know."

Brennan felt guilty that she and Sarah were working so well together, she didn't want him to think that he had been replaced. "Booth, it was hard to accept that you weren't coming back and I fought the change. But eventually I realized that I had to move on, regardless of how much I missed you. You haven't been replaced. I need you to know that."

Booth knew how hard it was for her to admit that - he may have been gone for 3 years but he still knew her. He took a step toward her and lowered his head, "I know, Bones. I know."

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"We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment."  
- George Eliot

After a few minutes of awkward silence while Brennan shuffling through papers on her desk and Booth looked over the pictures on her bookshelf, Brennan finally spoke.

"Do you have plans for the rest of the day?"

He turned quickly, finally a question he could answer without any doubts, "I'm meeting with Cullen in about an hour and then I'm going to surprise Parker and pick him up from school."

"How is Parker?" Brennan knew exactly how Parker was – unbeknownst to Booth talked to Rebecca fairly frequently. His ex first reached out to Brennan when Booth moved, Rebecca was worried about him and assumed that Brennan was still in contact with him. They struck up a casual friendship and spoke every other week or so.

"He's good. He's big – he'll be ten in a few months. A decade – I've been a father for a decade…Blows my mind." He smiled a big, genuine, Booth smile, the first she'd seen since he arrived.

"Why are you meeting with Cullen?" she asked, trying to sound casual and not hopeful.

"Don't know…he called me last week and asked if I would stop by and see him when I came to town."

"How did he know that you were coming to town?" She wanted to add 'and I didn't' but she bit her tongue.

He shrugged, "I assume the husband of the person who told you told him. Sweets has a big mouth."

"I think he's just excited that you agreed to come – I know he's asked you every year since you've been gone."

"I've taken Parker home to see my parents the past few years. Since I don't get him as often as I used to, Rebecca's let me have him for every other major holiday."

"That's nice."

Booth looked at his watch and sighed, "Bones, I've got to get over to the Hoover building. I'm here through the weekend – we should get dinner. Other than Thanksgiving dinner, you are coming to Sweets' right?"

"Yes, I'll be there and I'd love to have dinner one night. I'm free all week. Where are you staying?"

"At a hotel in Georgetown, I have Baba with me so I had to find a pet-friendly place." He could have left the dog at a kennel near his house in Richmond but he hadn't left Baba alone for more than a night – ever. Booth had sequestered himself away from the world but he had a constant companion in Baba, they ate together, they ran together, and they even slept together.

Brennan smiled, thinking of Booth and his dog. She knew without every seeing it that he let the dog ride in the front seat and probably got him burgers from the drive-thru when he got his own. "Why aren't you staying with Sam and Sweets?"

"Yeah, they asked me but they don't need me and my slobbering mutt messing up their new place. The hotel is fine." He actually hadn't told the Sweets that he wasn't staying with them – he didn't want to get into it with Finn, she never took no for an answer. He was so used to being alone, or at least alone with his dog, that Booth didn't know what to expect if he stayed with them. Alone was better, alone wouldn't through him any curve balls.

"Yeah, Sam thinks you're staying with them. She's not going to be happy with you." There was a part of Brennan that wanted to ask Booth to stay with her but she felt that maybe they weren't those kind of friends anymore. "I'll be home tonight and tomorrow night if you want to stop by. I still live in the same place." She said with a smirk.

"I figured as much. I'll give you a call." He turned to leave, a site that Brennan couldn't watch.

"Hey Booth, I'm really happy you're here." She smiled with a tear in her eye.

He looked around her office and surprised both of them when he said, "Me too Bones, me too."

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"Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration."

- Charles Dickens

As Booth made his way through the halls of the Hoover building he was greeted warmly by most and given looks of pity by the rest. He tried not to let the latter get to him, he always knew that it would be this way if he ever decided to return. When he reached Cullen's office the door was open, Booth knocked on the door jam.

"Sir?"

"Booth, good to see you. Come in – shut the door behind you." Booth entered the office and took a seat across from his old boss.

"How have you been, sir?"

"I've been good – finally got Dr. Brennan straightened out, I think the new partner might actually stick. Thanks for your help with that, by the way."

"It was nothing." After Brennan and the squints bullied the 3rd agent out of the Jeffersonian, Cullen contacted Booth looking for some pointers on how to handle the group. At first, Booth wasn't sure that it was his place then he realized it was a small thing he could do to make sure that even though he had left them, the team would end up with a decent agent.

"It helped – a lot. And finally giving in and letting her have a gun helped, too." Cullen smiled thinking of the pure joy getting a gun had given Brennan.

Booth's mouth dropped open, "You gave Bones a gun?"

"Yeah, I made her field test for it and she did exceptionally well so…I'm surprised she didn't tell you that."

"No, she didn't tell me." Booth just added this newly learned information to the ever-growing list of things he had been absent for.

"I'm sure she didn't want you to worry." Cullen said with a smirk.

"I'm sure that's it." Booth offered a weak smile.

"Ok, do you know why I wanted to meet with you?"

"No, sir I don't."

"Would you care to explain to me why I got a call from Fort Benning a few weeks ago?"

"Oh, that." Booth shrugged his shoulders, "It was just an idea I was kicking around – nothing that I'm serious about. I just made a few inquiries."

"You're almost 40 years old! If I thought you were actually going to go through with this I would have to question your sanity. What good would come from you re-upping with the Rangers?"

"With all due respect sir, my service record is exemplary and I'm 5 years below the maximum re-upping age. I thought I could be an asset." Booth hadn't discussed the idea with anyone but for several months he had been toying with the idea of taking a leave of absence from his current position and re-enlisting with the Army. He was only sure that he wanted to do it on the nights he couldn't sleep. When the quiet and darkness of his house got to be too much. During the day, when the sun was shining he had very little desire to return to that way of life.

"You're not leaving the bureau, you're too much of an asset here. Besides, I have a position I would like you to consider."

"Bones is fine – they don't need me back at the Jeffersonian."

"You're right, they don't, I have something else in mind for you. We are going to be coordinating a new unit out of this office and I'd like you to consider coming back to run it."

"New unit?" Booth was intrigued, he hadn't expected Cullen to want him back for anything other than his previous position.

Cullen sighed, "Since we now have agents working as liaisons with every other government agency, they want to create a support unit to head up the liaisons. You are the natural first choice since you literally wrote the book on working with groups that function outside of our procedures and policies." Cullen threw down the guide Booth had written regarding the Jeffersonian Medco-Legal lab team.

Booth shifted in his seat, he had forgotten that what started out as a memo turned into a multiple page booklet, "I-I don't…"

"Before you turn me down, I want you to think about a few things; you would be a assistant director, it's 3 pay grades up from where you are now, you'd be a supervisor which would is great for future advancement and it _is_ a desk job but it's going to be a hell of a lot more interesting than what you're doing now. The unit will be active on June 1st of next year but I would need you here in May." Cullen took a breath and continued before Booth had the chance to cut him off, "I'm not going to accept any answer from you today – I want you to think about what this would mean for you. I just need an answer by the end of the year, ok?"

Booth nodded. He was running scenarios in his mind of how this could or would work.

"And just so you know, you're the only one on the list right now. I want you back in this office, Booth."

"Thank you. For everything, understanding that I needed to leave and lending me out to the other office – I appreciate it more than you know. It may have saved my life."

"Well, seeing as you're still alive – do you want to start living again? Or are you content with working 6 days a week, spending 2 hours a night in the gym and…and what else do you do?"

"What do you have spies in my office?" Booth asked with a smile. "I'm doing the things that you and I discussed before I left – I'm working, I'm filling my hours with something useful, I go to GA meetings when I need to, I go to therapy once a week and I've been rebuilding a '69 Camaro. I keep busy."

"All things you can do here. Don't you think it's time to come home?"

Booth rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know that this is my home anymore. Besides, I made a commitment to the field office and…"

"Booth, you've been using that space down there as warehouse for yourself and that's not healthy. Just think about the job, please?"

"I will, thank you." When Booth left Cullen's office he took a quick lap around the floor, as he passed his old office he felt a ping of jealousy that someone else's name was on the door. He had worked so hard to get that office, the one he had now was bigger – it was a corner office but it never had quite the same feel as the one he had occupied in the Hoover building. Over time he had found that nothing felt as good in Richmond as it had in DC.


	2. Chapter 2

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  
- Mahatma Gandhi

Angela slowly approached Brennan's office – she had stayed in there for well over an hour after Booth left the lab.

"Sweetie?" Angela called out softly from the doorway "You ok?"

Brennan looked up from her desk with a questioning look on her face, "I'm fine."

"He looked good, I thought he looked good – didn't you think so?" Angela asked nervously as she approached her friend.

"He did, he looked good. Why didn't anyone else come down and say hello?"

"Oh, we thought that you two needed a few minutes alone – we didn't think his visit would be so short, though."

"Yeah, he had a meeting with Cullen and then he was going to pick Parker up from school but he'll be at Sweets' for Thanksgiving."

"What did you guys talk about?" She crossed her arms in front of her and leaned up against Brennan's desk.

"Nothing in particular, Ange. We might have dinner one night while he's here but…"She shrugged her shoulders, trying to behave as if his unexpected appearance earlier hadn't shaken her to her core.

"Come on, Bren. You have to be feeling something. He's been gone for 3 years and he just waltzes back in here like it's ok, like he's allowed?"

"It is ok and he is allowed. I feel…I feel relieved that he finally felt ok enough to come here. That's a big step for him."

Angela nodded, Brennan had a point, "How are we supposed to act around him? What do we say?"

"Just act normal – he would never admit it but I'm certain that one of the reasons he had to get away from here was the way everyone was treating him. Like he was-"

"Going to break?" Angela cut her off.

"No, he did break, he was and still may be very much broken. The months before he left people were treating him like…people were pitying him and I know that's the last thing he wanted – sympathy sure but pity?"

Angela marveled at the once-socially awkward woman sitting in front of her, "You're right. I just wonder if its time for someone, namely you, to be honest with him."

"I am honest with him, when he was here I told him that I missed him and that I was happy he was here."

"Sweetie, there's more that needs to be said, you and I both know that."

"Like what? I'm not angry with him, I never was. Yes, I was upset after he left and stopped talking to me but I've forgiven him for that and I think he knows. What else needs to be said?" She sighed deeply, "Booth and I will never be what we once were – I've accepted that."

Angela could see that not all the words Brennan said matched the emotion in her eyes. The one true thing she had said was that she'd forgiven Booth – much to everyone's surprise. "I wish you didn't have to accept it."

"It's not like this is my idea of a perfect situation – I wish he had leaned on me. I wish he stayed but he didn't so I'm trying to make the best of it."

Angela stood up straight and pointed directly at Brennan "That's! what you need to say to him – all of it. It's not going to hurt his feelings to hear that."

"You obviously don't know Booth as well as you think you do. The worst thing I could say to him is that his leaving hurt me – he doesn't need anymore guilt."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe no one ever told him how much his leaving hurt them? Or that once he got past his own grief he felt like no one missed him or wanted him to come back?"

Brennan looked up at her with an almost stunned expression, "I never thought about it like that."

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"Oh, you weak, beautiful people who give up with such grace. What you need is someone to take hold of you -- gently, with love, and hand your life back to you."

-Tennessee Williams

Spending the evening with Parker at Rebecca's he realized that his son was getting close to the age where he needed his father around all the time, not just every other weekend. Booth was proud of Parker, he was only 7 when Gwen died and Booth moved away but his boy handled it all very well – he was a very rational child, something he pointed out to Rebecca after Parker had gone to bed.

Rebecca laughed, "Temperance said the same thing a few weeks ago."

"Bones? You talked to Bones?" He asked with sheer surprise in his voice.

Rebecca wasn't sure what to say, she and Temperance had never really discussed why they didn't want him to know they talked, they both just knew they didn't. She hadn't meant to clue him into that now but she figured enough time had passed that it was time that she could be honest with him. "Seeley, after you left…I was worried about you, not just as Parker's dad, but as you. I've known you for over a dozen years and I had never seen you so…so empty. And I had never seen you run from anything." Rebecca was surprised to find herself tearing up, "After you had been gone for a few months, I called Temperance to see if she knew how you really were - not how you told me you were."

"What did she say?" Booth couldn't imagine the two woman carrying on a conversation – it almost felt like two ex-wives talking about their shared husband behind his back.

"She said she didn't know…that you were more vague with her than you were with me – I actually knew more about your life down there because of Parker than your best friend did."

"Partner, Bones was my partner."

She rolled her eyes, "She was your best friend, Seeley. Don't give me that partner crap… Anyway after that first time we talked, she called and asked if I would bring Parker by the museum for a new exhibit that they were going to open, she said that she always took him to the new dinosaur ones first, before they opened to the public."

Booth had forgotten that, "Yeah, she did."

"Truth is, I think she just missed you so much that seeing Parker helped her. But we became friends and we talk every once in awhile…You know, she's not as weird as she use to be but she gives you credit for that."

He laughed and shook his head, "Yeah, she's definitely not the same person I started working with – in a good way."

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Have you ever not been?"

"I don't know why after everything you've been through you don't embrace the people who love you and want to help you. Why have you stayed gone so long?"

He sunk down into the couch, "I never meant to be gone this long, I thought a year - tops but the longer I was gone the harder it seemed coming back would be and now…" He trailed off – he knew the words that completed that sentence would be considered ridiculous by anyone who knew him.

"Now what?"

He stood up, Rebecca was not the person that he needed to have this talk with. "Now, I have to go." He smiled at her hoping that would dissuade her.

"You can't run forever. And you can't use that smile on me, it doesn't work."

"I know and that's why we're not married." He moved toward the door and turned, "If, and this is a pretty big 'if', I came back to DC full time would you let me see Parker as much as you use to?"

"Are you coming back?"

"Just answer the question."

"Of course, and he's getting older so more if he wanted it. Are you coming back?"

"Don't know, but you've just given me another thing to put in the 'Pro' column of my mental inventory…"

"Come Home."

"Maybe, I've gotta go – we'll talk Friday when I come to get Park, ok?"

"Ok. Hey Seeley, while you're here will you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"I want you to make a list of everything you're missing not being here. Not just the big things, like Parker getting older but the small things – things you loved before. And when you get back to Richmond on Sunday, I want you to do the same thing there, take stock of what you'd miss if you left. And then I want you to call me and tell me which list is longer."

"Why call you?"

She grinned and frankly said, "Because unlike the other people in your life who love you and want to help you – I also really enjoy saying 'I told you so'."

The next morning Booth woke up early and went for a run with Baba. He stopped from time to time, taking in the city and wondering what it would be like to come home. He had to admit that DC was home at least to himself if he wasn't ready to verbalize it to anyone else. He really did love it there – it was where he first realized that he had more than killer marksmanship to offer the world, it was where Parker had been born, where he and Brennan had forged their partnership, it was where he fell in love with Gwen but it was also where he had lost her. And that was the whole reason he left in the first place. He wondered to himself, _How long can I continue to let the one worst thing that happened here taint all of the best things?_

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"I'll see you smile as you call my name  
Start to feel, and it feels the same  
And I know that maybe someday's come....Maybe someday's come…"

- The Cure, _Maybe Someday_

Brennan was sitting in her office, waiting for Angela to get back with lunch when there was a knock on her door.

"Hey, Baby."

"Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving?" She asked, standing to greet her father.

"I am, I just wanted to stop in and see you before I went. I figure if I can't be with you on Thanksgiving, I can at least tell you that I'm thankful for you - the day before. Do you want to go grab lunch?"

"You should've called me – you never do that, you know? I already have plans with-"

"Booth?" He cut her off, asking hopefully.

Brenna furrowed her brow, "No…Angela. Why would I be eating lunch with Booth? Are you spying on me, again?"

Max shook his head, "No, I am not spying on you. I thought that maybe with the holiday he might be here visiting his kid."

"You know that he hasn't been back in 3 years."

The con man's eyes twinkled, "I'm old, I forget things."

"How did you know Booth was in town?"

"Oh, Booth _is_ in town? That's great…"

"Dad? I know you're lying to me. What do you know?"

"You know how I go back and forth between here and the Carolinas? Well, awhile back I stopped in Richmond and I ran into Booth."

"Where?"

"His office building." He said with his gaze fixed to the floor.

"Did you get arrested again or did you go there on purpose? And when was this?"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the couch, "I did not get arrested. I stopped to see Booth about two years ago."

"Two years!"

"You know I like Booth. I liked him when he was arresting me, when he was testifying against me in court and even when he left you - I liked him."

"Booth didn't leave me."

"Anyway, I was worried about him. I was passing through, we had lunch."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Her voice cracked one octave higher.

"It didn't really concern you."

"My father and my…my friend had lunch together and it didn't concern me?" She couldn't believe that she was just finding out about this _and_ they didn't talk about her.

"No, we have other things in common."

"Like?"

"Loss…I had your mother for almost 30 years and I still miss her, some days it's almost unbearable. I can't imagine what it would have done to me if I lost her that soon. You know, a man can get lost in his grief if there's no one there to find him…When we were done eating, he gave me his number and told me to call him if I ever needed anything and I took that to mean if _you _ever needed _him_. So, I've talked to him once or twice since then."

"Why? I haven't needed him."

"Baby, you've been needing him every day since he left, you're just too…too you to admit it."

She leaned her head against the back of the couch and sighed, "Dad…I just…It felt like he never left…seeing him, here…it makes me question how I've been doing it all by myself for so long."

"You've been doing it because you could and it had to be done. Sweetheart, you are strong, resilient and more than capable of handling whatever the world hurls at you – you get that from your mother." He winked at her and she couldn't help but smile, "And Booth? He's a tough guy but he can't pack his feelings up in neat little boxes and store them away in his mind."

"Like me?"

Max shrugged, "Not anymore, when I first came back you were like that but you've changed. You've opened your heart to me and I see it translating into other parts of your life. You have overcome every handicap I gave you and even some of the ones you gave yourself."

She looked over to her father, unsure if she wanted to ask the question on her mind, ultimately she decided it was now or never, "Dad? If I wanted to help Booth to…to find him, what could I do?"

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"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."  
-J.D. Salinger

When Booth got back to his hotel, Sweets was waiting for him in the lobby.

"Dude, my wife is so mad at you and me."

"What did I do?"

"No, the question should be what did _I_ do? You're supposed to be staying with us – this is a deal-breaker for Sam."

"Deal-breaker? What is she going to do?"

"I don't know and I don't want to find out – go pack. You're coming back with me." Sweets followed Booth up the elevator back to his room.

"Really? I just…you guys don't need me and the dog there why you're trying to cook dinner."

"Oh, I don't cook – at all. Sam is actually under the impression that you'll be helping her."

"Am I a houseguest or free labor?"

"Both, more guest than anything. Come on, you've done the hard part – I know you went to the lab and I know you went to see Cullen. Sam and I talk to you all the time. We're the easy part."

He sighed, "Fine, I'll come and I'll help cook. Seriously though, you don't cook?"

Sweets shook his head, "Barely use the microwave."

"How you have ever kept a woman – I'll never know."

"Mind games." He responded tapping the side of his head.

Booth started to throw his stuff into bags, "How did you find me anyway?"

"What is it you use to always say? Oh yeah, 'I'm FBI, don't worry about it.' That and Dr. Brennan told me that you were staying at a pet-friendly hotel in Georgetown – it wasn't too hard to figure out."

"You talk to Bones a lot?"

"Sam does, I mainly talk to her at work, why?"

"She talks to Rebecca – I didn't know about it."

"I didn't – no…yes I did know that. I did, sorry."

Booth turned and gave him a 'what the hell' look.

"I could keep better track of all the things I'm supposed to know and not know much better if there weren't so many."

Choosing to ignore the last comment, Booth sat down on the bed, "Did you know why Cullen wanted to see me?"

"That I really don't know."

"He offered me a job."

"Back at the Jeffersonian?"

"Not exactly, they're starting a new unit to oversee all the agency liaisons and he asked me run it."

"That's awesome, so you'll come back?"

"I don't know. I have to give him an answer by the end of the year – the job starts in May."

"You should take the job – you're not happy where you are. I know that without you even saying it."

"I need to think about it. Don't mention it to anyone and don't start listing all the good things about this, ok?"

"Fine, but just know that I fully support you coming back. I bet Parker would too."

"I don't need that. I know."

Sweets threw up his hands in defeat, "Finish packing and I'll take Baba down to the lobby."

"Why are you taking my dog?"

"This way, I know that you'll at least make it to my house if I have the dog. Once you get there, keeping you there is Sam's job."

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"There are three classes of people: those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see."

-Leonardo da Vinci

Once Sweets got Booth to his house, he left him with Finn and went back to work.

"Why didn't you come here when you first got to town?" Finn asked while he got settled in the guest room. "I told you to come stay with us."

He sighed, "I thought you were just being polite and that having me and the dog here would be too much with cooking dinner and having everyone over…"

"Seeley Booth, you should know by now that I don't do anything to be polite. I think there's another reason all together you don't want to stay here."

"And what is that, Finn?" He stood with his hands on hips and stared her down.

"If you stay here you can't sneak out of town when you get uncomfortable."

"I don't sneak. I'm not a sneaker."

"Oh, that's right – you always leave a note. We have quite the collection of Seeley 'sorry-I-have-to-go' notes. No one wants to wake up to a note, unless the sex was really, really bad and you can't remember the guy's name – then a note is ok."

"You were wild in college, weren't you? Sweets would have not known what to do with you in college..."

"I never left notes in college – just did the walk of shame back to my dorm at 6am." She smiled as she thought back briefly to her time at Princeton, she _had _been wild in college. Focusing her attention back on Booth she continued, "And this isn't about me. This is about you and this crappy coping technique that you developed. Have you talked to Ed about this?"

"Yes, Dr. Creepy and I have discussed this."

"Why do you call him Dr. Creepy?" Finn set Booth up with a psychiatrist in Richmond that was not FBI affiliated. One of the conditions that Cullen set when he ok'd Booth's transfer was that he go to grief counseling. Booth thought it was a better idea to see a doctor that wasn't being paid by the federal government.

"His office is very dark and gothic – it's creepy."

"He must be helping, you've been seeing him for over 2 years."

"He's a good doctor, you were right about that. How do you know him?"

"We went to school together."

"Was he ever on your shame route?" Booth asked with eyebrows raised.

She smiled, and changed the subject, "_Anyway_, what did you do yesterday when you got here?" She took a seat, waiting to hear his version of his visit to the Jeffersonian, she had heard Brennan's the previous night.

"I checked into the hotel, went by the Jeffersonian, met with Director Cullen, picked Parker up fro-"

"Wait. Back up, how was the museum?"

"Fine."

"Seeley?"

He sat down on the bed next to her and sighed, "It was weird. I walked in there and it was like I had never left but at the same time like I was a stranger who got lost during a guided tour…I did talk to Bones which I'm assuming you already know."

She bumped shoulders with him and asked, "How was that?"

He rubbed his palms together looking at the ground, "I don't know…it was…she said she was happy to see me but…"

"But what?"

"I know you already know – I'm sure you talked to her last night." He stood up feeling his pulse quicken, he was agitated with Brennan but he wasn't sure why, "I leave town and suddenly she's a social butterfly. Hanging out with Rebecca and Parker and you and Sweets? This is a woman who use to sleep in her office – never did anything other than work."

"When I met Temperance she wasn't like that."

"Yeah, because I had already spent 4 years teaching her how to be normal or at least as normal as she could be. Before me she was different."

"So, are you annoyed that the student continued the lesson when the instructor left town or that like before you, after you she's different?"

Booth glared at Finn and suddenly knew why the Sweets' new home was as big as it was – she was very good at her job.


	3. Chapter 3

-------------------

"Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead"

- Benjamin Franklin

After leaving Booth, Sweets made a mad dash to the Jeffersonian hoping that Brennan was still there.

He knocked on her door, "Dr. Brennan, do you have a minute?"

She looked up from her desk, "What do you need?"

"You know the incident that happened a few weeks ago? The one we're not supposed to talk about?"

"Is this a test?"

"What?"

"Are you testing how trustworthy I am? Because I am, very."

"No, this is not a test. I need you to tell Booth about it this weekend – before he hears it through the grapevine."

She looked at him inquisitively.

"Before he hears about it from someone else, someone not me."

An amused Brennan asked, "What are you afraid of your friend?"

"My friend, no. Former Special Forces guy with a wicked temper, yes."

"If we can't talk about it how will he find out?"

He wanted to scream at her 'Because he's going to come back and be running the department and find out about it then!' but he couldn't – at least not yet. "People talk even when they're not supposed to." He took a seat across from her, "Look, I've done a lot for you in the past three years to not let him know plenty of things that would tick him off but this…this is too big. You have to tell him?"

"Why can't you?"

"Because then he'll want to know why I didn't tell him the day it happened and despite what you have tried to convince yourself, he still cares very much for you."

"When should I bring this up? Over Thanksgiving dinner? 'Can you pass me the Tofurkey and oh, and by the way I killed a man 5 weeks ago', does that work for you?"

He sighed and thought to himself, _this is what I will have to contend with if he comes back. I forget how difficult they were and now with so many secrets and non-truths it's just so…_ "Just take him aside and tell him that you didn't tell him before because you didn't want him to worry and that the case is still sealed pending a Department of Justice investigation."

"That's a lie – I didn't tell him because…I didn't tell Booth about the shooting when…"

"You don't know why you didn't tell him, do you? You talk every week. I don't know what about, but you do…Please?"

"If the moment arises I will tell him but I am not going to seek out a special time to do it."

"Awesome."

Brennan watched as a relieved Sweets, with his awkward gait, walked slowly out of her office toward the exit.

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"Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress."

- Thomas Edison

"So, if you're considering this position does that mean you're ready to stop being Silently Seething Seeley?" Sweets asked Booth later that night, after Finn had gone to bed. Sweets sat on the kitchen counter looking much younger than someone who could own the house they were in.

"Silently Seething Seeley?"

"That's how Sam refers to you when you're avoiding things."

"You know for two professional therapists you and your wife have terrible approaching techniques."

"You're not her patient or mine. I don't think that either of us worry about how we approach you any more."

Booth rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. For as close as they had grown over recent years there were still some aspects of the young doctor that Booth found irritating – those things were eternal. "I'm considering it, yes. But that doesn't mean that-"

"You've made up your mind – got it. What do you need to know to make up your mind?"

"I don't know…I'll know it when I see it or feel it or hear it but until then…" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Will you talk to Brennan about it?"

"Why? I wouldn't be working with Bones any more."

"Exactly, there are issues there that need to be dealt with. _If_ you come back and take the new job you will work with her in one fashion or another not to mention the fact that…" He sighed, "I hope that you would want to spend more time with me and Sam and we see Brennan a lot. I practically work solely with the Jeffersonian now."

"It'll work out – don't worry about that." Booth wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Sweets or himself that things would indeed be ok.

Sweets worried that Booth was over-simplifying his possible return, "She misses you, she might not say it or act like it but she does. In her way."

Booth nodded, "We…" He laughed gently, "Bones and I we just…She's been so understanding. Freakishly understanding. I'm waiting for her to yell at me or punch me but this quiet, considerate reserve she has is scary."

"Dr. Brennan has never confided in me about this but…I think that she's been worried that verbalizing any feelings she has regarding you will put pressure on you or guilt…"

"That's insane."

"I don't think so. And, I think if you allow yourself to really think about it – in your heart you know it's not insane. Severing your partnership with her, when you did, caused you to grieve two separate losses at the same time."

"Don't shrink me, Sweets. You're not telling me anything I don't know."

Sweets smiled, "Sorry, professional hazard…Have you talked to Rebecca about coming back?"

"I asked her if I came back if she would let me see Parker as often as I use to but I didn't give her any specifics, he's the biggest draw to this city. I don't see him for a few weeks and it's like I've missed months – he's going to be 10 soon." He shook his head in amazement but it soon appeared that he had much more on mind.

"That's at least the third time you've mentioned that to me in the past few weeks – what is the significance of Parker turning 10?"

"Well, Parker turns 10, I turn 40 – that's huge."

Sweets took a minute to study Booth's face. Seeley Booth was not a man to be concerned with his age there was more lying under the surface, "Can I tell you my theory on this?"

"If I say no will that stop you?"

"No." Sweets shook his head.

"Fine – go ahead." He leaned back in his chair waiting to hear yet another theory on why he felt the way he did about his life.

"Ten years is a big age gap for siblings – you have always wanted more kids. The older Parker gets the more you are reminded of what is lacking in your life."

"Good deductive skills, Sweets. Can I go to bed?"

Sweets hopped off the counter, "Booth, the truth is, you're never going to have the life you need or want or deserve if you don't become an active part in it."

"I didn't come here to be analyzed. I don't need this from you of all people." He stood and readied himself to walk away.

"I miss her, too." Sweets uttered just above a whisper.

Booth stopped in his tracks, "I know, Sweets."

"I'm not trying to tax you with guilt or upset you, I just want to remind you that it is possible to get beyond this. Moving back here can still be part of forward progress – there are people here who love you and they're not just in this house but they will be tomorrow."

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"The exodus is here.  
The happy ones are near."  
-The Who, _Baba O'Riley_

While their guests arrived the next day Sweets and Finn stood closely together in the kitchen watching the awkward yet familiar way each member of the team greeted Booth. It would have been an excellent case study for either of them if they weren't so concerned with his well-being.

As Sarah and Booth made strained small talk with each other, Sweets leaned toward his wife, "Does this feel as painful to you as it does to me?"

Finn nodded as she watched Angela link arms with Booth and lead him into the living room, "What does she want, you think?"

"Angela? Lord only knows."

"I don't think I have ever seen Temperance look more uncomfortable – look at her."

"Yeah, I didn't expect her to be in the best mood. I asked her to do something for me today that she doesn't want to."

"This something have to do with Triple S out there in the living room with Angela?"

Sweets chuckled, "Yes, I asked her to tell him about a case – something that he would want to know but I can't tell him and I don't want him hearing about it from anyone else."

"Why are you being so vague?"

"I can't tell you."

This would have bothered a less understanding woman but Finn knew the deal – there were things that her husband knew and saw that he couldn't tell her, things that he couldn't tell anyone. "Ok, say no more. Go save Seeley and I'll get everyone into the dining room."

Sweets headed toward the living room but hung back when he got close enough to hear Angela and Booth's conversation.

"I think you need to seriously consider it."

"I have and it's…"

"Booth, what are you figuring out down there you can't do up here?"

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is, Come Home." Angela turned on her heel and marched directly past Sweets on her way to the dining room. Booth slowly came around the corner.

"Why does everyone think they know what's best for me?" Booth asked rhetorically as he headed into the next room, as well.

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"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are, when you don't come home at night."

- Margaret Mead

When dinner was winding down, Hodgins spoke up, "Booth, I just wanted you to know that you have been missed - personally and professionally."

"Thanks, Hodgins. I've missed you guys, too – personally and professionally. But it looks like McCready's taking good care of you guys."

Sarah took a sip of wine and said, "Yeah, thanks to you and you're instructions."

Brennan eyes flew up to Booth's "You wrote instructions on what?"

He sighed, "After you guys ran the third agent off, Cullen called me and asked if I would send some tips on…" He was struggling to find the proper phrase, "Tips on...policies and procedures at the Jeffersonian - so they knew what to do. How you worked, what you needed from the bureau..."

"What? I should have been able to look it over to make sure it was factual."

"No, Bones it wasn't for you. It was for the FBI."

"So, it was an instructional manual on what? How to deal with me?"

He leaned back in his seat, slightly amused with anger that was visible in her eyes, and asked, "Why do you assume it was about you?"

"I'll take that as a yes." Brennan was on her feet and headed to the kitchen with her empty plate in a flash and Booth was right behind her. The rest of the diners remained seated and quiet - determined not to miss a moment of what was to come.

"Bones? What's wrong?"

"You should have told me that you wrote a 'Squints for Dummies' essay. What was in there?"

"Just suggestions to help _you_."

She crossed her arms defensively, "Example?"

He took a similar stance on the opposite side of the kitchen, "I don't know…Like, give Dr. Brennan time and space with the remains, don't rush her."

"Don't rush me?"

"Yes, you don't do well when you're forced to give an answer, you need to come to your own conclusion and some people don't understand that."

"What else?"

He shook his head and smiled at her, "Bones, it's not important. Everything worked out."

"Obviously you don't know me, of course it's important!"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and offered it in her direction, "If its so important, maybe you want to call Rebecca and chat with her about it and not tell me!"

"If I'm going to call Rebecca then maybe you should call my father! My father, Booth? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me about Rebecca?"

"I knew it would make you uncomfortable and we talked so rarely that…No, you're trying to distract me. What else was included in your instructions?"

He took a few steps toward her and lowered his voice, "Don't let Dr. Brennan spend all night in the lab working, because she won't be any good to you the following morning."

"What? Am I a child? I don't know when I need to sleep?"

"Not the last time I checked!"

"And when was that?" Brennan knew that she had crossed a line, all of their friends in the next room knew it too. It seemed everyone knew that she had crossed the line – except Booth. He just rolled right along with it.

"I check on you, Bones! You shouldn't doubt that…I also recommended reading Principles of _Anatomy and Physiology _and _Human Osteology in Archaeology and Forensic Science _so they would have a better understanding of what you were talking about." He smiled knowing she would have a hard time denying that was an excellent recommendation.

That one suggestion made by Booth was enough for Brennan to realize that maybe he was only trying to help, "Fine Booth, you were just trying to make things easier. I don't want to fight with you. Just drop it."

"Were we fighting?" He hadn't realized it he had been having too much fun. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it. But I did it for you - I wanted to make sure that you guys got a good agent - someone who cared and understood you, _all_ of you."

"Well, we did – finally."

He knew that he should have been reassured by confirmation that McCready was indeed a good agent but hearing it from her hurt.

"In the future, when you write an inter-office memo about me, I'd like to see it."

"Fine, would you like a copy of this one?" He asked, knowing the answer would be yes.

She stood there contemplating if she even wanted to know what he had written, ultimately she decided that if she didn't read it she'd never sleep again, "Yes, I would like a copy."

He flashed her a high-watt smile, "Ok, I'll get you a copy. Can we go back to the table?" He extended an arm out to her, trying to usher her back into the next room.

She had forgotten how infectious his smile could be when he really turned it on and Brennan had no choice but to return the gesture and follow his arm into the other room.

Walking back into the dining room, Booth's hand wasn't on her back but it surprised him that his appendage seemed to still know the way there.

As they took their seats among their amused friends, Brennan leaned over and asked Booth, "About those books, you never-"

"No, I never read 'em. By the time I even knew what they were I didn't need to – I had you."

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"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."  
-Charles DuBois

Sarah noticed that for as interested as everyone had been in their argument, no one confronted the former partners about it. Everybody at the table seemed to go back to business as usual once the heated discussion ended. This puzzled her because this group never let anything go – ever. "Was it always like that with you guys?" Sarah asked from the opposite end of the table.

Surprising even themselves, they answered in unison, "No."

"Yes, it was." Sweets said shaking his head, "Although…I met them a few years in to the partnership so I'm not sure what the beginning was like…"

"Worse than when you met them, trust me." Angela added.

"How?" Sweets leaned forward he sometimes forgot that Angela was full of the best kinds of information.

"You know how they use to argue right in front of you but if you agreed with one of them, that one jumped on you for not listening to the one you didn't agree with?"

"Oh, all the time. It got to the point where I stopped listening and planned on their sessions only being 40 minutes."

"In the beginning – they wouldn't even argue. They just yelled and then waited until the other stopped so they could yell some more and then it just changed."

Finn's shrink side could be denied no longer, "When did it change?"

Booth and Brennan looked at each other, not sure what to say. Booth offered his opinion first, "In the beginning Bones and I fought all the time about everything – that's true. I think our partnership found solid ground after I told a prosecutor some personal things to ask her to win a case and she didn't falter – she finished her testimony. She didn't forgive me right away but she didn't stop working with me either."

Brennan disagreed, slightly, "That's when things started to get better but not when I knew that we were going to be able to maintain our partnership."

"Ok, when did you know that?"

"After the Arlington case when you were able to put aside your own beliefs about war and the military to finish the case. We understood each other better after that."

Booth thought back for a minute, moving his hand back and forth like he was doing math in his head, "So, it wasn't when I flew down to New Orleans to help you beat a murder conviction?"

She shook her head, "No, not then."

"Really? I thought we were solid by then, I wouldn't have gotten on a plane if we weren't."

"Yes, you would have. From day one you would have."

"So, knowing that…you still didn't think that we weren't…" Booth didn't know why this made him so defensive and a little sad.

Brennan looked down at the table and said, with such a low voice that only Booth could hear, "No, I knew something else then. But not that our partnership was going to work." Flooded with feelings she had refused to let herself feel for far too long, she got up from the table and headed into the kitchen. Once again, Booth followed and everyone else waited patiently, praying that they didn't miss a single word.

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"And we are so fragile,  
And our cracking bones make noise,  
And we are just,  
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys."

- Ingrid Michaelson, _Breakable_

"What did you know in New Orleans, Bones?"

"Nothing…I don't want to talk about it here."

"Which is it? Do you have nothing to say or do you not want to tell me now?"

"Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter." She started to walk back into the dining room when he grabbed her by the arm and led her out the back door of the kitchen onto the deck, "Booth! It's freezing out here!"

"Then you better tell me quick – what did me coming to New Orleans tell you?"

Brennan looked at Booth and was flooded with the memory of him rushing into the exam room with worry and panic consuming him. "When you came to New Orleans because I was hurt, even after I told you _not_ to come, I knew that you…you were the first one of your kind."

He studied her face for an explanation but found none, "What does that mean? What's my kind?"

She considered lying to him but was unable to think of anything believable so she relented, "The kind that wouldn't let me push them out of my life." When she saw the sadness this brought to his face she offered him a weak smile – it wasn't much but it was all she had at the moment.

"Well, you know that voodoo amnesia doesn't discriminate – it doesn't care if you're a stubborn genius. Someone had to step in." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

She groaned, "It wasn't voodoo. You know that, Booth."

"So, if I was the first that means you've since met others?" As far as he was concerned anyway she answered would be wrong; if she said no then he'd hate himself for being absent for so long and if she answered yes then…

"Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you see it, you seem to be the only person who doesn't hear the word 'no' when I say it."

Unwilling to address the fact that with him gone, there was no one to step in when she needed it, he opened the door, "It's a rarified talent…Let's go back. Can we not runaway from the table anymore?"

"You don't have to follow me." She said, walking past him into the house.

"I do." He called after her, "It's either that or stay at the table. I'll take my chances with you."

Brennan was pleased that they were actually speaking about real things, true things but at the same time she wasn't thrilled with the sarcasm and humor Booth seemed to be using to deflect anything that could hurt him or her. _'Deflect'…great, another Sweets term that has forced its way into my vocabulary_, she thought to herself.

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While Booth and Brennan were outside, Sarah looked around the table with wide eyes, "Are they ok?"

"They're fine." Sweets and Finn said at the same time.

"This is the 2nd argument they've had in less than an hour, that's fine?"

"Yes, for them its fine. For anyone else I'd be worried but as far as they are concerned, I'll take anger over apathy any day." Sweets answered, "There's a lot of stuff for them to work through so it's good that they're finally discussing their feelings – even if they are arguing."

Angela looked at Sweets, "Is he still carrying around all that guilt?"

"I think some of it has subsided but yeah. I don't think that it'll go away completely – he won't let it."

Finn rolled her eyes, "My God, are we really having this discussion again? When Seeley first left it was out of sadness and guilt and some shame but what's keeping him gone is the fact that he was wrong - he lost control. Out of control he felt that he couldn't be the person everyone needed him to be."

"And he needs total control to function." Hodgins interjected

"Exactly, grief and guilt can be worked through but...everyone told him that he and she were a bad idea; Lance did, she did, I even told him the one time we spoke while I was still her doctor. But he was convinced that he was right and to be proven wrong in such huge and major way was too much for him."

"He told you this?" Sweets looked at his wife in amazement.

"No, I read a case study that you did on him and Temperance years ago when you first started working with them. It was like an ancient prophecy - you foretold this happening."

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"In the garage  
I feel safe  
No one cares about my ways."  
- Weezer

"I didn't mean to get you in trouble with Brennan." Sarah said as she took a seat next to Booth in the living room after dinner.

He shrugged, "Eh, don't worry about it – she would have found out eventually. She was never going to be ok with it."

"But still, I'm sorry. I have a tendency to say too much. How are things in your office?"

"It's fine. A lot slower than up here. How are the squints?" He grimaced, waiting for her to unload exactly how annoyed she was with her assignment on him.

She grinned, she never tired of talking about her job, "Never boring…They are the oddest, most interesting group of people I have ever met. You have to wonder how they found each other."

"Bones found them. She brought them together. But yeah, they're great." He shifted in his seat, silently wishing to be anywhere other than where he was. He hadn't realized that Sarah was so happy with her position.

"Brennan is…she's not what I expected from all the stories I heard at the bureau, you know? Of course _you_ know." When she saw his eyes darken, Sarah realized that again she had said too much, "I'm sorry you don't need me to tell you anything. Have you talked with Cullen about the new unit?"

"Um, yes I have. I spoke with spoke him a few days ago. It makes a lot of sense, it's hard for other agents to understand the obstacles you face when you're at the mercy of another group's schedule."

"Absolutely, I think other agents are worried how it will effect them."

"But you're not?"

She shook her head, "No, I assume that you're taking the job. Aren't you?"

Booth sat straight up, "How do you know about that?"

"It's been kept quiet but it's not a secret."

"Have you told anyone else about it?"

"No, it's not my place. So are you taking it?" she asked as Hodgins joined them.

"I haven't decided yet."

"Taking what?" Hodgins asked.

"Nothing, bureau stuff…How have you been? Angela still exhausting you?"

The bug guy grinned, "She is but I think I'm finally catching up with her…How are you? Really?"

Sarah excused herself, leaving the two men alone to talk.

"I'm fine. Actually I'm good, better than everyone thinks I am or keeps lookin' at me like I am."

Hodgins didn't let on that he didn't believe him, "Things here have been…they've gotten better recently. It took us all awhile to adjust to the changes."

"Hodgins, I want to thank you for…you know, keeping things under control here."

"You mean keeping Angela from obsessing about you being gone?"

"Among other things."

"I'm gonna be honest with you G-man, you being gone was well understood by us all. It was the lack of contact you had with everyone but especially with Brennan that was upsetting."

"I know…it was just…it's hard to explain."

"It's upsetting but I'm not saying that I blame you. But I will say that it's been long enough – Come Home, Booth."

Booth studied his face, the man was sincere and it wasn't coming from just his relationship with Angela, Hodgins meant what he said, "Maybe, I don't know."

Sensing Booth's lack of desire to discuss himself so he changed the subject, "Is that your '69 Camaro out there?"

"Yeah, that's three years of my blood, sweat and tears sitting in the driveway. It was a heap of nothing when I found it. I did all the work myself, everything but the upholstery"

"Sweet, that's a huge project."

"Yeah, but I had a lot of free time and it was nice to focus on something else. Evenings and weekends if I wasn't working I was in the garage." That was the closest Booth would come to acknowledging that his life was empty. If he were able to see the big picture he would have realized that he was responsible for discarding the things that use to fill it.

"It's amazing but then, you always were good at that kind of stuff, you know bringing out something's original promise."

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Brennan was helping Finn clean up the kitchen while the rest of the group cleared the table.

Finn watched Brennan vigorously clean the counter top, "Hey Temperance, why don't you give it a rest – that granite is almost brand-new and I'd hate for you to rub the finish off."

"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere." She threw the sponge in the sink and took a seat at the island.

Finn smiled, "It's understandable…I forgot how entertaining you two can be."

Brennan rolled her eyes, "Booth and I?"

"Yes, so much of the time I've known you guys he's been away. The little display over dinner reminded me why him being gone is so wrong."

Quietly Brennan responded, "It's not wrong if it's right for him."

"Hey, Brennan." Sweets poked his head into the kitchen, "Don't forget what we talked about – you promised."

"I know…I'll get around to it." She grumbled under her breath. Brennan worried that telling Booth about the incident concerning the Stewart case would put her in the position of appearing weak.

She had stayed up most of the night trying to put together an argument-tight description of what happened – something that Booth wouldn't question or poke holes in. She also struggled to find a way to make it sound like her action was the only choice she had but yet that she hadn't been placed in that much danger. As far as Brennan was concerned, 3 deaths in almost 8 years of working with the FBI wasn't that bad of a record. The case had been a mess from the get-go and she was certain that pulling the trigger saved her life, it saved her partner's life along with countless other's.

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I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

- Anais Nin

As the sun was setting on Thanksgiving day, Brennan knew that she had no choice but to pull Booth aside and tell him her secret. She headed to the living room, determined not to let her emotions dictate her actions.

Brennan saw Hodgins and Booth talking and was surprised to see Booth laughing. She didn't know how much she had missed the sound of him laughing until that moment. She hated that she would be the one to silence his happiness.

"Hey Hodgins, can I talk to Booth." She asked sharply.

"Sure." He turned to Booth and said, "Think about what I said and call me sometime."

When Hodgins was gone Booth leaned back into the couch and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, "What's up, Bones?"

"There's something I need to tell you – something you shouldn't hear from anyone else _but_ you need to promise me that you're not going to overreact or be angry because you weren't told the day it happened…ok?"

"I can't…it's unfair for you to ask me that but I'll try." Booth couldn't imagine anything that Sweets wouldn't tell him about or that he didn't hear through the FBI gossip train.

Brennan stood by the fireplace and with her back to Booth she began, "About 6 weeks ago Sarah and I were headed to question a man that we thought was a witness to a body being dumped in the loading dock of the National Aquarium." She turned to face Booth – she was curious to see how closely he was listening to her. "On the way there Hodgins called and notified us that the man, Kevin Stewart, was in fact the top suspect for the murder…" Brennan paused to gather her thoughts. She looked at him and she knew that he was listening to every syllable she uttered just by his the way he was sitting.

"What happened?" He leaned forward in his seat.

She sighed, "When we arrived at the suspect's house the sun had gone down and there were no lights on in the house…So-"

Cutting her off he asked, "You called for back- up, right?"

Shaking her head, she continued, "No, we had no reason to believe that he would be hostile toward us and there were two of us…the back door was open and we entered the house…four shots were fired in our direction – missing us by only a few inches…"

"Come on, Bones. Can you make this long story short for me?" He sensed what was coming and just wanted her to say it.

"I shot him. I-I killed him. The case is sealed and pending a Department of Justice review – standard procedure." She stopped talking – she had said everything she needed to. Booth's first instinct was anger for being left in the dark but that subsided quickly when he looked at Brennan and realized that she had been in danger, she could have been killed.

"6 weeks ago? This happened 6 weeks ago?"

Brennan nodded 'yes'.

"Are you ok?…Did you at least have a vest on?…Why didn't you call me?" He had worried since the day he left that Brennan would end up out in the field and not be protected properly. Yes, she could defend herself in a variety of situations but she had the tendency to be reckless when she was focused on the truth.

"The case is sealed it's a need-to-know situation."

He chuckled under his breath, "Need to know…there was a time when you told me everything whether I needed or wanted to know about it."

"Booth, that was before when we were still partners! I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but this isn't exactly a conversation you can have over the phone. And you know that I can take care of myself."

"I know you can handle yourself…You could have told me that Cullen gave you a gun."

Brennan was out of her comfort zone, it had been a long time since there was some one who expected her to share her life and daily happenings with them – the big and the small, the good and the bad.

She could feel her heart beating in her throat as Booth moved closer and she backed up against the wall. "Booth, I didn't tell you those things because when we talked I wanted you to know that we're ok. I didn't want to concern you with the little problems here."

Booth was struck by the sincerity and concern in her voice and he realized that she was withholding information that she believed would upset him. "Bones, shooting someone is not a little problem. Have you talked to Sweets or Finn about this? Even if you think you don't need someone to listen, you probably do. You should have called me."

"Why? Did you need something else to worry about? Were you sleeping too well at night? I'm not your responsibility any more, you're not my 'gun' any more." She leaned toward him and whispered, "You taught me well – I'm safe out there."

"Thanks...But it's hard for me to know that you're out there every day and I'm not…I just…Bones, I can't…you didn't tell me…after everything…" He trailed off unable to find the words to finish his thought. Booth needed to hear from her that he still had a place in her world.

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"He longed to be lost but he couldn't bear not to be found."

- Ronald Blythe

Later that night when everyone had left, Booth took Baba outside to get some exercise. When he stepped outside he was surprised by what he found,

"Finn! What are you doing? Since when do you smoke?"

"Shhh…I quit years ago but when I get stressed out I can't help myself…Please don't tell Lance, please." She stomped the cigarette out.

"I thought psychiatrists went to medical school. Don't you know how bad that is for you?"

"Of course I do. More doctors smoke than you think."

"You think Sweets won't smell it on you?"

"No, I'll wash up before I go to bed and he's already asleep. Can we keep this between us?" She batted her eyes at him, hoping to persuade him.

"I'll make a deal with you, I won't tell Sweets that you're back on the cancer sticks _if _you tell me what's really been going on with Bones, deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"I get the feeling that things are being kept from me so I won't get upset. I would like to know the truth."

"Fine, where should I start?"

"When I left she said she understood – did she?"

Finn jumped up and took a seat on the deck railing, "She did, more than anyone else. I don't think she would ever hold that you against no matter how much it hurt her. And it did...hurt her."

"She never told me that. Whenever we've talked she's played it off like she's fine, like she's moved on." He took a seat on the chaise lounge.

"What choice did she have? She's been running around here for the past 3 years like a single mother caring for a child with an absentee father."

"What does that mean?"

"Seeley, she feels the need to be everything to everyone, to keep it all going and she has, at times to her own detriment. It's not fun to watch but you'd never be able to convince her to stop. That lab and those people are everything to her."

"I never imagined that she'd keep up the pace we set. I thought for sure that she would start traveling again – get back to the life she had before…before me, before we were partners."

"I'm not going to pretend I knew you two all that well before you left but I get the distinct feeling that the person Temperance use to be, the one who ran away from the unknown, who traveled the world, identifying bodies and helping others find closure made peace with the demons in her past and has nothing compelling her to run now. And I think you had a lot to do with that."

He shrugged, "I guess you could say that or you could say I'm the one that made her think she had to stay. That she had to be the center to this family I convinced her she had."

"That's a crappy way to look at it. She credits you with giving her family back to her. She stayed here for you, Seeley!"

"But I'm not here…I'm gone."

"Yeah, but so much of who you were and what you gave her was left behind. It's been enough to keep her going…Are you going to see her again before you leave?"

"We're going to have dinner Saturday night, why do you ask?"

Finn hopped down from her perch, "No reason, I think it's good for you to spend time with her – you seem to get your spark back when she's around." She walked past Booth on the chair and laid a hand on his shoulder, "I think it's time Seel."

"Yeah, I'm gonna let Baba run a little bit more and then I'll be in. Good night, your secret's safe with me."

"I didn't mean it was time to come in, I meant it was time for you to Come Home."

"I thought home was wherever you hung your hat – mine hangs in Richmond."

"No, home is where your heart is."

"If that's true, I'm not sure I have a home anywhere."

"Seeley, I love you but you are so stubborn and dense – you belong here. With all of us. I don't think your heart ever left." Leaving him to ponder her words, Finn headed inside to wash away any evidence that old habits die hard.


	4. Chapter 4

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"I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good  
I wish I was the full moon shining off your Camaro's hood...

I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on  
I wish I was the verb to trust and never let you down."

- Pearl Jam

Eating dinner alone with Booth was difficult for Brennan, it wasn't that she didn't want to see him or spend time with him but it was the fact that she still wasn't sure how to talk to him. While they had spent a great deal of time on Thanksgiving talking and arguing they still had other people around to distract them. Sitting in an out-of-the-way Italian restaurant with nothing but the sound of other patrons eating to fill the silence between them, Brennan quietly wished that she had chosen a louder, more crowded place for dinner.

"What did you do with Parker yesterday?" Brennan asked after their plates had been cleared.

"We went to the movies, had dinner at the diner, then I hung out at Rebecca's until he went to bed…nothing all that exciting."

"I'm sure he's just excited to see you and spend time with you."

"I hope so – I'd hate to be the kind of Dad whose visits aren't wanted or looked forward to."

"Booth, you don't have to worry about that. Your son anxiously anticipates your visits."

"Yeah…" He knew that she meant to comfort him by saying that but in reality, he didn't want Parker to be anxious about anything in his life, especially seeing his father. "Have you talked to Zack recently?"

"About a month ago, he's working at the University of Michigan for the Anthropology department. He has to see a court appointed psychiatrist once a week but other than that he's doing quite well."

"I'm glad to hear it, I never really understood him and that whole situation. Sweets has always said that the act was completely out of character for him and I trust Sweets opinion when it comes to those things." He stared into his coffee cup watching the creamer blend in as he stirred. If he tried hard enough he was almost able to convince himself that this wasn't awkward…almost.

"I too have developed an appreciation for Sweets' abilities in the past couple of years – we really should have been nicer to him in the beginning."

"I guess but let's be honest, he was really obnoxious in the beginning. It took…awhile before we trusted him, before he proved himself."

"I suppose…I can't believe it's been over 6 years since he started with us, it seems like almost yesterday." Brennan was trying very hard not to disturb the 300 lb pound elephant in the room as she danced around it.

"Time flies…And then sometimes it stands still." He looked up at his former partner and was blind-sided by a rush of emotions. "Bones, I'm glad that we were able to touch base this week …I've missed this…you, I've missed you."

She smiled and finally admitted, "I miss you, too."

When they had finished their coffee they walked to the parking lot together.

Coming to a stop in front of Booth's car, Brennan looked it over, "Is this your big project?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot that I told you about it. This is my baby."

"It's very…very shiny."

"Shiny? Come on! My girl is cherry. Rebuilt from nothing but a pile of scraps." He laid his hands on the hood appreciating his own handy work.

"It's great…Does it meet current emission standards?"

"It's tagged isn't it?" He sighed, some things never changed.

She leaned against the side of the car, "You're leaving tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, I'm sure Sweets and Finn are ready to be rid of me. I think I'll be back for Christmas – Rebecca is taking Parker to see her parents and my parents are going on a cruise so our two favorite shrinks asked me to spend it with them. Finn's family will be here, that should be interesting."

"It will, anthropologically speaking, her family is fascinating. Two parents and four children – all medical doctors."

"Can you imagine the pressure cooker their house must have been?"

Brennan shrugged, "There are worse ways to grow up."

He winced, "I'm sorry Bones. I didn't mean-"

"It's ok, I know." She pulled her coat tightly around her.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about seeing your Dad. I didn't seek him out, he found me. We have a lot more in common than you expect."

"You are nothing alike, my father is a criminal – a murderer."

"I've killed too…Your father never hurt anyone who didn't have it coming to them except you and in that case we're exactly alike."

For the first time in 3 years Booth had acknowledged that his actions affected her on a level deeper than professional. Brennan wanted to dismiss this, she wanted to tell him that he was wrong but she couldn't. As she felt tears overcoming her eyes she turned and reached for him. Pulling him into a hug she whispered, "It was good to see you."

"You too, Bones. I had forgotten how good this was."

"Me too." She pulled back and stepped away from him, "Talk to you on Wednesday?"

He smiled, leave it to Brennan to make plans while she was walking away, "Of course and I'll probably see you around Christmas."

"Good, I'll look forward to it. Good night." She started to walk away.

"Good night, Bones. Thanks for having dinner with me."

She turned with a smile, "Anytime, Booth. Anytime."

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"Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Superman -- a rope over an abyss."

Friedrich Nietzsche

"How was the trip back to DC a few weeks ago?"

Booth's eyes narrowed in on Dr. Creepy, it was his first session with the doctor since he returned from Thanksgiving, and "It was ok, a little awkward but more fun than I anticipated. And I was offered a position."

"Is this a new position or do they want you to come back to your old job?" The doctor leaned back in his chair, trying to get a read on his most elusive patient.

"Totally new position – it seems I've been hand-picked for it or it was created solely for me. I would be overseeing all the agents that are loaned out to other federal agencies – coordinating things between the bureau and the other agencies."

"I assume you haven't made a decision on this, yet?"

Booth shook his head, "No, I need to think it through a little more…I think returning back there after all this time and not taking my old job back would be weird."

"Can you elaborate on that?" He knew that Booth hated this follow-up questions but he wasn't sure how else to pull the needed info out of the agent.

"I guess part of me always thought that if I ever went back to DC, I'd pick up where I left off, you know I'd go back to the museum start working with Bones again." Booth sighed, "The truth is going back there with a new job just reminds me that…it reminds me that even if G- she did live I'd still find myself in this position."

"Again, elaborate?"

"I have to acknowledge that if things had worked out and I had become a husband and had a family that staying with Bones wouldn't have been an option. I could have never stayed her partner and been the family man I always wanted to be."

"I think that says volumes about the true nature of your relationship with your Bones. If you were just partners than it shouldn't have been an issue but obviously there was something more than that between you two."

"Of course we were more than partners – we were friends too. Honestly, before…Bones was the most important part of my life, after Parker, naturally."

"Seeley, can we address your reluctance to discuss her by name? You never say her name out loud and you never talk about her in detail."

"What do you want to hear?" Booth defensively crossed his arms across his chest.

"What do you miss the most about her? What were you most attracted to about her?"

Booth leaned back in his seat, unsure of where to start, "I miss the way she, I mean Gwen, looked at me. She looked at me with those bright green eyes like she needed me more than the air she was breathing, like the answers she had been searching for only I could provide her….I miss the way she smiled and laughed…When I first met her, I wasn't sure if I had ever met another woman who was as beautiful as she was, she was warm and open and loving…She had this long dark, almost black hair that hung all the way down her back, almost to her hips and her eyes…they were the oddest shade of green, sometimes a sparkling jade and at other times deep emerald – I could get lost in them…I guess part of me still is lost in them – I'm lost in this abyss…"

He leaned forward, "Interesting choice of words."

"Most people think of an abyss being black and dark but when I look down I see a million jewel tones, the most prominent being a shade of emerald that dances when even the smallest fraction of light hits it. The sane and balanced part of me knows that I need to move away from this abyss but I'm intoxicated by it and after 3 years, I've actually grown accustomed to the company it provides."

"But you do recognize that it's safer and healthier to live away from it?"

"Of course I do. I just don't know how."

"I think going back to your old life could help a lot. You're not growing here, you're not moving on here. I think you need to go back to where you were before things fell apart."

"I think that's going to be hard. Ok, I return to a portion of my old life but I'm not doing the same job, which means that I wouldn't spend as much of my time with the people I use to…I would get to see Parker whenever I wanted and Sweets and Finn would be pretty happy to see me, plus I'd be closer to my parents which is one hell of an incentive to move back to DC."

"Then, what's holding you back? What's keeping you from running back to the city?"

Booth shrugged, "I'm not sure…"

"Can I share my theory?"

"If you must." He rolled his eyes.

"I think that there are unresolved feelings between you and your former partner. From what I understand, those feelings were there prior to Gwen and you were able to push them off, onto the back burner, while Gwen was in your life. Now, you're riddled with guilt because the feelings you felt for Dr. Brennan still exist even though your Gwen no longer does."

"Maybe I'm riddled with guilt because Gwen is gone at all. And this great new job wouldn't even be a possibility for me if she had lived."

"You don't know that – you can't be sure of that but I do know that if you don't keep moving, life is going to pass you by. All the good things you've always wanted will slip out of your grasp."

"How do I feel better about moving on? I tell everyone that I want to move forward but the truth is I've been content running in place."

"I can't see anyone who truly cares about you holding your desire to move on against you – these people you talk about week in and week out seem to be very interested in your well-being."

"I don't know why – I abandoned them."

"Has anyone given you the indication that they wouldn't want you to come back?"

"No…actually just about everyone asked me to come back when I was home…They all seem to want me back."

"Then what is holding you back?"

"Not everyone asked me to come back – Bones didn't ask me. Since she's the one I feel that was hurt most by my leaving I need for her to tell me that she wants me back in town – that it's ok I return."

----------------------------------

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

- Dr. Seuss

"Have you talked to Booth since he was in town?" Sweets casually asked Brennan over lunch in her office.

"On the phone a few times, why?"

"No reason, I was just curious. He was on the phone with Sam a few nights ago for awhile and I thought…I didn't know what I thought."

Brennan put her fork down and leaned across her desk, "Booth talks to _your _wife at length and you don't know what they discussed?"

"Why would I? They talk a lot about what, I'm not sure but it's good for him."

"How?"

Sweets sighed, "As long as I have known Booth there's been a woman in his life that he was close to, in the absence of anyone else, namely you, he and Sam have struck up this oddly honest relationship."

"I didn't choose to be absent in his life…"

"I know you didn't and I didn't mean to imply that it's your fault in any way but he and Sam are very similar people – they relate to each other very well."

"I never would have thought that they had much in common but…" Brennan started to mentally weight the attributes of the two.

"Now that you're thinking about it, it makes sense doesn't it? Two cocky, independent, intuitive people – it sucks royally when they both get mad at me at the same time. They're not rational people – its all feelings and emotions with them."

Brennan smiled, "You have to admit that's charming in it's own way…I mean if I learned anything from Booth it was that sometimes the emotional part of your brain makes the most sense…but only sometimes. Most of the time you and I are on the right side of any argument. It's better to be rational and objective."

"I agree except…" Sweets was searching carefully for his next words.

"What? Do you have something to say?" She was growing tired of the doctor tip-toeing around her.

"What do you think happens when someone has spent their entire life being emotional and then they switch to being overly-objective? Are they still the same person?"

"Are you talking about Booth? Sweets you're the psychologist – not me. And philosophy is just as lost on me as your profession."

"I know but I've spent the past few weeks trying to work this out on my own and I can't. Awhile ago I had come to the conclusion that the guy I knew before…before my sister, that guy was gone and then when he was home last time I started to see flashes of who he once was and I think he did too and that scared him and I wondered if you saw it too."

Brennan's face was contorted like she'd just eaten a lemon. Other people, most people didn't bring Booth up to her they knew better but Sweets – he was a different story. "I don't know what you mean by that. But then, I haven't spent as much time with Booth as you have over the past few years. You would know better than anyone."

"I suppose but you knew him best before. Did he seem better?"

"He seemed like Booth and I consider that better than any other option."

Sweets grinned, she was brilliant and well-spoken but she still hadn't caught on to the implied meaning under so much of what she said. " Dr. Brennan, you and I both know that him coming back was a huge step and I'm afraid that…Look, do me a favor? Next time you talk to him, be honest with him. About all of it."

"I'm a very honest person. You even cited my honesty as a hindrance during my last evaluation."

"I know but I think there are things that you need to say to Booth – things that he'll only listen to if you say them. Not just the nice things, like you miss him and are concerned about him but the things that you hold inside because you're afraid he won't be able to handle them. It's time."

"What exactly do you think I'm holding in?" Brennan stood and started to straighten her bookshelves. Secretly she was hoping that Sweets would be able to shed some light on the murky feelings she had felt since Booth went back to Richmond.

"Honestly? I think you're afraid to tell him that him being gone hurts you – even though I know he's figured that much out on his own. I also think you're afraid to tell him that he is not practicing what he always preached – especially to you. Don't tell me that it hasn't occurred to you that if the situation was reversed he _never _would have let you stay gone so long. He would have pulled you back from wherever you were hiding years ago and made you actively participate in your life and to be completely honest with you – I don't know what is keeping you from doing the same for him!"

"It's not my place! You're closest to him now – you do it!"

"I've tried – he's not waiting for _me_."

Unarmed with a witty comeback that she could throw at Sweets, Brennan turned slowly on her heel and headed out of her office, leaving him to wonder if he had said too much or if it was too little too late.

----------------------------

"Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Brennan had spent the rest of her day wrestling with what Sweets had told her. She had always thought that she was doing Booth a favor by withholding specifics from him. She knew that he had been dealing with a lot and he didn't need the added stress of knowing how his decisions affected her. And they did affect her, more than she would admit to the rest of the group – they wouldn't understand. The funny thing was the only person who could really understand what she was going through was…Booth.

Booth had always known better than her why she felt what she did. From the beginning it was like he had a hotline to a part of her brain that even she couldn't reach. Brennan hadn't realized it before he left but he was her emotional compass and in the years since he had been gone she had slowly learned how to trust her own instincts. But there were still moments when she found herself contemplating what would Booth do?

She tried to push those thoughts out of her mind she didn't have time for them. She was packing to leave for a 10-day press tour promoting her new book that was being released in a few days. It was the first book that she had finished since Booth moved away and she was worried about how it would be received by everyone but mainly by the people closest to her. The ending was a cliffhanger that she feared gave more away about her true feelings than she was comfortable with but her editor assured her that it was perfect and her fans would love it. When Brennan wrote it, she hadn't been thinking about her fans and she knew that anyone who knew her would figure that out immediately.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When Booth returned home after his session with Dr. Creepy he puttered around the house for awhile, avoiding the one thing he really wanted to do. Brennan's publisher still had him on her pre-release list so the week before he had received a copy her latest novel in the mail. He had started reading it the day it came but as the story got more serious he found it harder and harder to take it at face value. The last chapter he read the night before had Kathy accidentally shooting her partner, Andy, in the chest and it wasn't clear if he was going to survive or not.

After taking Baba for a run, calling Parker and having dinner, Booth could no longer put off reading the final chapter. Somehow he felt like Andy's outcome was his own. Would this fictional character live to fight both crime and Kathy's skewed view of the world another day? Booth had to know. He never expected the book to end they way it did. He had to read the final sentences several times before they started to sink in.

"Kathy sat staring at her partner, her friend unable to help him. She was responsible for the damage done but nothing she did now could change that fact. Whether or not Andy survived depended entirely on his will to live and after the previous year's events, she wasn't sure how strong his will was."

Did Brennan feel responsible for him? Was she holding a private, silent vigil waiting for him to decide that he wanted to live? Or was this just a story about fictional characters and occurrences like she had told him so many times before? There was only one person who could answer these questions and she was 2 hours away. Booth looked at his watch and grabbed his coat and keys.

------------------------


	5. Chapter 5

"The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other."

- Ashleigh Brilliant

"No, Ange. I have everything packed and I'm just waiting for the car service…thanks for the offer but I couldn't expect you or Hodgins to take me to the aiport at 1 in the morning…I'm sure, I'll be back 4 days before Christmas and we'll go shopping then…I promise." Brennan was systematically going through her apartment making sure that she had everything she needed while talking to Angela. Just as she was getting ready to ask Angela what she thought of the new book there was a knock at her door, "Hey, my car is here…I will, I'll call you when I get to my hotel..you, too…g'night."

She opened the door without checking to see who it was and before she could even look at the person standing on the other side she asked, "Can you take the two big ones down and I'll be right behind you?"

"I guess I could take them but where are they going?"

She spun around when she heard the familiar voice, "Booth! What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk." He said as he moved her bags aside and walked into her apartment. He hadn't been there since the night he decided to leave DC and he started to wonder if he had jumped the gun by returning now.

"I'm sorry. I'm headed to the airport, I'm leaving for a book tour."

"That's perfect because that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. How could you kill Andy?"

Brennan furrowed her brow, "How do you know what happens in my book? It hasn't even been released to the general public yet."

"I'm not the general public, Bones. But thank you for thinking of me that way. Your publisher sent me an advanced copy last week."

"Well, if you read it you know that Andy isn't dead."

"Gun shot wound to the chest and a month in a coma – things don't bode well for him. I know your mad at me but this is over the top."

"First of all, I'm not mad at you…Secondly what happens to a _fictional _character in my story has nothing to do with you. You really should have called, I don't have time for this now."

"You don't have time for me? This is the first time I've come to you in 3 years and you don't have time for me?" He sounded slightly wounded.

Brennan was shaken by his sudden appearance and that he had taken her novel to heart, she reached for the wall to steady herself, "Booth, normally I would have all the time in the world for you but not now. And just because you've decided that it's time we talked doesn't mean it's going to happen at the exact moment you want it to. I have a life!"

Booth stared at the floor, "You _are _mad at me. Coming here was a bad idea."

"It was…you coming here in the middle of the night was not a well thought out plan." When she saw the pain her statement caused him she continued, " I use to expect it, you showing up here whenever for whatever reason and for months after you were gone I always thought that eventually I'd hear that gentle but purposeful knock and I'd answer it and you would be on the other side, telling me that you were ready to come back. After a year I stopped anticipating it, then after two years I stopped expecting it but I never stopped wanting it." She caught her breath at her last words.

"Bones…" He looked at her, really looked at her for the first time in years and he was caught off guard by how tired she looked. She was still luminous and well-structured but there was something missing, something behind her eyes wasn't were it belonged.

"Andy isn't dead, not yet anyway. I only ended it the way I did because my editor thought that a little added suspense would help book sales and get people interested in the movie – they start production on it in a few weeks."

"So, have you decided his fate?" He was asking about Andy but thinking of himself – Brennan knew this.

"No, I haven't even had time to start it. Work keeps me busier than it use to….Did you drive all the way up here from Richmond just to ask me about the book?"

He shrugged, "I guess I did. I didn't give it much thought when I first left the house. I just know that you and I don't do very well on the phone – we omit a lot of things to make it easier on the other and by doing that we're not doing anyone any favors."

Brennan smiled weakly, "No, I guess you're right." She heard Sweets' words from earlier that day echoing in her head, _Next time you talk to him, be honest with him,_ "Booth, I do want to talk to you. I want to be honest with you but I have to get to the airport, I'm sorry."

"Can I give you a ride?" He grinned, "Come on, it'll be like old times."

"I have a car coming…"

"Come on, Bones…Let me do this for you, please?"

"Ok, take me to the airport, Booth." Brennan had forgotten how easy and at times rewarding it could be to give in to him. As he carried her bags down the stairs in front of her it stung as she remembered that there was a time in their lives when he did all the heavy lifting for her and not just the physical stuff.

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"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry."

Ernest Hemingway

"So, where are you headed?" Booth asked as they approached the airport.

Brennan sighed and pulled out her agenda, "LA, then Seattle, Chicago, New York and then Philadelphia before I come back to DC. Busy week and a half but if this goes well I shouldn't have to do any more press until the summer."

"Who's doing your security now?" Before, Booth had always coordinated safety procedures with her agent and publisher.

"The publishers hired a security firm to handle all of that – they do a fine job."

Booth chuckled, "It took an entire security firm to replace me?"

"They didn't replace you, they just picked up where you left off. They still follow your directives."

"Good to know, I put a lot of time and effort into those."

"I know Booth, no one had ever will or will ever be as concerned with my safety as you use to be. I know."

"I'm still concerned, Bones. I'm just monitoring you from a distance now."

She turned in her seat so that her body was facing his, "What's your agenda?"

"My agenda?" He asked without looking at her.

"Why all of the sudden are you back? Do you need something?"

"I came back for Thanksgiving because Sweets asked me and I owe him and you know why I came tonight. I don't have a hidden agenda, I don't operate that way – you use to know that."

"I use to know a lot of things." She muttered under her breath as he came to a stop in the unloading zone.

"What?" He snapped back.

"Nothing, I said nothing…Thanks for the ride." Brennan threw the passenger door open and swung her legs onto the sidewalk.

"Look, this would be a lot easier if you would just tell me that you're angry with me or that you didn't want to see me anymore. This cool hostility you have going on isn't fooling anyone." Booth stood aside while Brennan checked her luggage with an attendant and started to follow her toward her gate.

"Booth if you don't have a ticket you can't come through the gate."

"I don't need a ticket." He flashed his badge and a grin.

Brennan rolled her eyes, "Oh, so what? Are you only an agent when it suits you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He slipped her carry-on off of her shoulder, ensuring that she wouldn't go anywhere before they finished their conversation.

"I mean that you've been hiding behind a desk for close to 3 years – you're barely an FBI agent anymore."

"That's low, Bones. You have no idea what my life has been like."

"And why is that? Huh?" She was inches from his face and forcing him to walk backwards, stopping only when he hit the wall with a thud.

"You don't know because you couldn't possibly understand."

"And that's because I know nothing about loss or broken promises, right?" She was trying to control the volume of her voice since people were already gawking as they walked by. What she didn't realize is that most people were watching them so intently because they thought they were witnessing a lover's quarrel.

"I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth."

"I don't have much of a choice since you don't say much on your own!"

"What would you like me to say?"

Her mind ran through all the things she wanted to hear from him, from I'm sorry to I was wrong but at that moment, none of them seemed right. "Something true – no matter what we always had the truth."

As the intercom buzzed with Brennan's final boarding call, Booth looked at her and his face softened. He leaned closer to her and said quietly, "I'm afraid that when Gwen died, she may have taken the best part of me with her."

Brennan reached out and touched his cheek, "Is your heart still beating?"

Booth nodded 'yes'.

"Then you still have your best part…I hate to leave like this but I'm contractually obligated to be on that plane."

He offered a weak smile, "I understand, I'll see you at Christmas – that's like what? Two weeks? Have a safe trip."

"We'll talk when I get back. Thanks for the ride."

Booth watched her walk down the corridor feeling slightly proud of her. She had finally learned how to pick her battles and how to wave the white flag of surrender when needed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up"

- Joseph Barth

"Have you talked to Triple S lately?" Finn asked Sweets as they were decorating their Christmas tree.

"I talked to him late last week, I know he's planning on coming to town in a few days, why?"

"I talked to Temperance last night, she's in New York, and she mentioned to me that he took her to the airport when she left for LA. Seems to me that's something he would share with one of us."

This didn't catch Sweets by surprise in the slightest, "Yeah, maybe…you know how Booth can be about these things. As long as I have known them he has kept things between him and Brennan private. I stopped questioning it years ago. She's back tomorrow, right?"

"As far as I know, she has interviews in Philly in the morning and then she'll be back in the city in the evening…Did he mention her book to you at all? He must have flipped when he got to the end."

"He did say that he was surprised that she ended it the way she did but he believed that she must have had a good reason for it. But I don't buy that for a minute. A few books ago she had Andy over-powered by 2 minor crime bosses and I never heard the end of it. We wasted at least 3 sessions discussing why he was so affected by her writing."

"God, I missed all the good stuff didn't I? It doesn't take a literary genius to get what she was really trying to say with that last chapter. Seeley has to know, he's much more intuitive than you give him credit for."

"Hey, I give him all the credit in the world when it comes to that kind of stuff. I've said it time and time again, he would have made an excellent psychologist.

"By the way, I know that we invited Seel to stay with us but with my parents and sister staying here – we don't exactly have room."

"I'm sure he'll be fine staying in a hotel – he seems to prefer it."

"Lance, its Christmas. He can not stay in a hotel over Christmas, its too depressing – even for him." She stood with her hands on her hips wondering how her brilliant husband could be so dim at times.

"What do you want me to do?" Sweets was getting tired of maneuvering the minefield that had become Booth's emotional status.

"Maybe he could stay with Temperance?" She asked hopefully.

"I-I don't know…you saw them at Thanksgiving, they may not be ready for that. They may never be ready for that."

"I know but she said that they had a nice moment when he dropped her at the airport, she seemed optimistic in regards to them and their fractured relationship. Maybe some time alone together would be good for them."

"Maybe, I know you hate it when I say this but it's not my place. If _you _want, _you_ can mention to Brennan that there's no room at our inn and see what she says, but don't push the issue. They don't handle being forced to do things very well – unless it's one of them pushing the other, then it seems to be ok."

Finn shook her head and grinned, "They really are unlike any other two people in the world, aren't they?"

"Ah, my Sammy, you have no idea. Fascinating but frustrating is one of the few labels I've given them in the 6 years I've known them." He walked over to her and wrapped her in a tight embrace, resting his chin on her head he said, "Don't get me wrong, I want Booth to be happy but he has to decide that he wants the same thing. Until then nothing anyone says will change his mind."

"Maybe he needs to be told that it's ok to be happy. Have you told him that?"

"Of course! Hell, the last time he was here I even mentioned that maybe it was time he started dating again."

"You didn't tell me that – how did he take it?"

Sweets shrugged, "He pretty much ignored me and changed the subject but I know he heard me and that's the important thing."

Finn laid her head against his chest and took a deep breath, "Temperance told Booth that his heart was the best part of him."

"What?"

"When he took her to the airport I guess they argued and he asked her what she needed to hear from him and she said something true and he told her that when Gwen died he feared she had taken the best part of him with her and Temperance told him that as long as his heart was still beating he still had his best part." Finn had wanted to wake her husband up after hearing this from Brennan the night before but she never knew how he would react to matters concerning his big sister.

"She told you this?" Sweets was blindsided by this.

"Yup, last night. I think she was a little panicked by it. Worried that she implied too much…"

"It's amazing, just when you think that woman is completely out of touch she goes and says something like that, sending you right back to square one of not understanding her or the way her mind works…She's awesome."

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"It's a mystery of human chemistry and I don't understand it, some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just feel like home."

Nick Hornby

On the eve of Christmas Eve, Brennan was sitting at home trying to sort through a week's worth of mail and messages. She had gotten back from her press tour 2 days earlier but hadn't had the time or energy to attack the nearly 2 foot tall stack of mail that had been waiting for her upon her return. She had spent the bulk if her afternoon and evening shopping with Angela which was almost as exhausting as her 10 day, 5 city book tour.

It was after 10pm when she finally settled down with a glass of wine to relax in the peace and quiet of her apartment. Unfortunately for Brennan, that peace and that quiet were to be cut short by a gentle but purposeful knock on her door. Without looking through the peephole she instinctually knew who would be standing on the other side.

Opening the door she said, "This is unexpected Booth…and your dog. What's going on?"

As he entered her apartment, Booth grimaced, "The delightful Mr. and Mrs. Sweets neglected to tell me that with her family in town they didn't have enough room for me at their place, at least not tonight or tomorrow night. This after they practically begged me to come…I called all the pet-friendly hotels in the area and-"

"Booth, do you and Baba want to stay here for a few nights?"

"I would have called and I hate to ask but…"

"You're not asking, I am."

"Then, yes I would. Are you sure you don't mind?"

Brennan shrugged, "Not in the least – he is house-trained isn't he?"

"Bones, he's over 3 years old, of course he's house-trained!"

"I was just checking…the spare room is already made up…Have you had dinner?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I ate with Finn and Sweet-heart. I think I'm just gonna put my stuff down in the other room and get settled – if that's ok?"

"Absolutely, I'm just going through my mail from when I was out of town." She watched him walk down the hall with his ever-fateful-four-legged companion directly behind him. Booth sleeping under her roof wasn't something that she had ever expected to happen again but here he was – it was a strange situation made even more strange by the fact that he didn't feel like a stranger.

Baba jump onto the guest bed and made himself right at home while Booth took in his surroundings, not much had changed since the last time he had been a guest in the same room, that was well over 4 years ago. For a woman who prided herself on her ability to accept change as anthropological norm, Brennan had allowed very little in her own life to change. And Booth was extremely thankful for that.


	7. Chapter 7

"They walked on, without knowing in what direction. There was too much to be thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects."

- Jane Austen

After getting settled in the guest room Booth slowly walked back into the living room.

"Baba doesn't have to stay on the guest room – he can come out here. I put down a bowl of water in the kitchen for him."

He smiled at her gesture, "Thanks Bones." He whistled once and the dog came running, bypassing Booth and jumping into Brennan's lap on the couch.

"Baba get down!"

"He's fine. _Aren't you buddy_?" She was talking directly to the dog as she scratched behind his ears and he slowly rolled over exposing his belly. "Ha, look at that he's acknowledging that I have a higher status than him."

Booth shook his head, "Bones, he's acknowledging that he wants you to pet his tummy."

"Oh…Do you want something to drink?" She started to stand.

"I'll get it, everything still in the same place?"

"It is, for the most part." It saddened her that he had to ask if things were in the same place.

Booth headed into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge, where he saw a note that peaked his interest. Walking back into the room he asked, "Who's Pete?"

"Oh, a friend of Hodgins'. He's a contractor I've been working with."

He looked around her apartment, nothing seemed to need any work, "A contractor? Why?"

Brennan shifted in her seat, she didn't know why she was so uncomfortable about this subject, "Uh…Well, I bought a house before I left for my trip…It's a turn-of-the-century farmhouse about 20 minutes outside the city. It needs quite a bit of work."

"You…bought…a…house?"

Brennan nodded, " I thought it was time. You know, I haven't lived in a house since I was 15?"

"It's going to be a big change for you. Restoring an old house isn't easy." He took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from her.

"I know but it was the first place that I looked at that despite all of its faults felt like home. I couldn't ignore that."

Booth looked at her with a touch of amusement, "What makes you think you can do this?"

"What makes you think I can't?" She countered.

"You're right Bones…there's little you can't do…I never thought I'd live to see the day that you bought a house."

"Why not?"

"You're the most temporary person I know. You don't even buy your cars, you lease them and now…"

"You're right, you are - but awhile back I realized that I needed and wanted a permanent life. I looked around and there was nowhere to run to anymore. Besides, I now have first hand experience of what my running did to the people who care about me, Booth there are people here who care about _me_."

He tilted his head to get a better look at her, "What did your running do to them?"

"It made them feel less than… Like they weren't good enough to help me through whatever I was feeling. It made them feel as if I was better off alone in pain than with them healing."

"Bones, I never meant to make you feel like you were less than anything – you're more than…"

"I wasn't talking about you, Booth." She crossed her arms tightly in front of her in defense.

Booth scoffed, "Right and your new book has nothing to do with me either. I get it."

Brennan stood and started to gather her things. She refused to get into these things with Booth at this late hour, "I'm going to bed. Do you need anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. Do you mind if I watch some TV?"

"I don't mind – aren't you tired?"

Booth shrugged but didn't answer her.

She looked at his furrowed brow and wondered what was on his mind. She threw herself back into her seat, "Let's talk Booth, what's going on?"

Booth sighed and rolled his neck, popping it at every angle, "Nothing, I just need to unwind."

Brennan tilted her head to catch his eye, "There's nothing you want to talk about?"

"It's late, let's not…" He glanced at her and recognized the expression on her face - she wasn't going anywhere. "Ok…you are the most opinionated person I have ever met, you have to have an opinion about me being gone and I would like to hear it."

She took a deep breath and prepared to release her opinion on him, "Honestly? I think you've been a bit of a coward."


	8. Chapter 8

"The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt."

-Ayn Rand

"I'm a coward?" He asked in disbelief.

"In a way, I used to think that you were the bravest man I knew but these last few years…I just feel like you never would have let me run away the way you did or at least you wouldn't have let me force you out of my life." Brennan breathed in deeply, it felt good to finally get that out of her mind.

"Bones…I think you're being selfish…I always wanted what was best for you, _always_! When Sully asked you to sail away with him I told you to go even though you leaving would have destroyed me!" Booth suddenly thought that there was a chance that him being gone had destroyed Brennan, or at least a part of her.

"I am not being selfish. Do you have any idea what it's been like for me? Being the center all by myself?"

"When I left, I never thought you would stay. I was certain that you would go back to traveling…I never expected you to keep it all together by yourself."

"_You_ were the one that showed me what it meant to be a part of something. What it meant to depend on other people and to have them depend on me. I understand why you had to leave but not why you couldn't talk to me and if talking was too hard, I would have just....I would have been there - for you!"

"I know..." Booth knew that she was right, that she would have walked through fire to be there for him but that was something he could never ask her to do.

Brennan's eyes started to tear up, "Unless-unless you blame me a little. I can see how you would but-"

"Why would I blame you?" He narrowed his eyes on her.

"Because… When we had to go to Baltimore, if I had given better testimony we could have gone home Thursday and you would have been there before…."

"What?"

"Remember? I got too technical with my testimony and they had to recall both of us on Friday to go back over it…If I had just been more focused."

He leaned forward and stared at the carpet, "Temperance, that never crossed my mind - ever…In all the different scenarios I have thought of that would have saved her, you giving better testimony was never one of them."

Brennan could no longer keep her tears at bay, she looked at him and asked, "Then why? Why did you cut me out of your life?"

"It wasn't just you - I had to walk away from everyone. I was in no condition to protect the people in my life. You were better off with a different partner."

Brennan jumped up from her seat, furious, "This has nothing to do with work, I think you know that!" She started to pace in front of him, "We were more than the work, Booth. You and I were more than partners, weren't we?"

He looked up at her with a slight smile, "Yes, we were Bones, but I always thought that the work came first for you, was I wrong?"

"I know now that the work is secondary – the people in my life, my friends, my family come first. I thought you believed that too but maybe your guilt clouded your judgment."

"I was consumed by my guilt but I know now that I never could have saved her, not only do I know that, I believe it. But it's taken me years to get here. When I left all I could think about was Sweets and how I wasn't vigilant enough to protect the only family he had. I had spent 5 years keeping you alive and safe and let's face it, you got yourself into some really bad situations and I always...Look, I promised him and I couldn't keep my promise..."

"Booth, Sweets has Sam and all of us - he has a family."

"It's not the same, Bones."

"So, when you told me that there was more than one kind of family you were lying?"

"No, no I wasn't lying about that."

"Then why aren't we enough for him?"

He dropped his head out of what appeared to be shame, "Because…because Gwen was so much…she was way more than enough. When you lose a force of nature like that, there's very little that can fill the hole that was left in her wake."

"Maybe you aren't supposed to fill that space, I don't know how you could ever replace someone that you loved…You _loved_ Gwen, Booth." She gently took a seat on the coffee table directly across from him, their knees almost touching.

"I really did." He whispered.

"I always thought that you were running from your old life but now, now I think you were running from the fact that you loved her and that is not like you. The Seeley Booth I know, and I _do _know you, would never run from anything." She reached out and tapped him on the thigh, "You once told me that love was a. If that's true then just because the person who gave it to you is gone doesn't mean that the gift disappears."

He leaned toward her and said, "Well Bones, it looks like there's nothing left for me to teach you; you're starting a permanent life, you're opening up to people and it appears that you have a pretty good handle on what is really important…You should know that old Bones would kick new Bones' insightful butt all over the place." He winked at her and offered her a true-Booth smile.

Brennan nodded and grinned, she had missed that smile and the closeness that had always come after they had worked out their differences, "I agree."

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"Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked."

- Ralph Ellison

The next morning Brennan woke to an empty apartment, she looked in the guest room and was relieved to see that Booth's bags were still there. She headed to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and found a note:

_B -_

_I took Baba for a run – be back soon._

_- B _

Brennan wasn't sure why that simple gesture filled her with warmth but it did. As she re-read the note, she remembered that not so long ago her world had been full of warmth-inducing simple gestures, she hadn't let herself miss them because missing them led to missing the man behind them and that hurt too much. She looked into her living room, the site of the previous night's overly emotional but long-over-due discussion and she felt ashamed that she had unloaded so much on Booth. Just as she was trying to think of a way to make it up to him, he and Baba came busting through the front door.

"Bones, you're up… I hope that we didn't wake you this morning – I tried to get him out of here as quietly as possible." He grabbed Baba's water bowl to fill it up.

Brennan couldn't help but notice how snug his Under Armor shirt was and how it left no part of him undefined. He was bulkier, more muscular than he had been before, "Uh, no you didn't wake me…I didn't hear anything. How was your run?"

"Cold but necessary. He needs a lot of exercise – he gets too rambunctious otherwise…What are your plans for the day?"

"I don't have anything planned, except for tonight. Tonight is the Jeffersonian Christmas party."

"I thought you hated that?"

She shrugged, "Not as much as I use to, besides it's important to everyone else so, I go."

"You do that a lot now don't you?"

"What?"

"Things for other people."

"I guess…What are your plans?"

"Well, Rebecca took Parker to see her parents so…I don't really have any plans until tomorrow with Sweets and then Parker will be back the following day."

"You should come with me tonight. It'll be festive and you know you've missed festive squints."

"I don't know."

Brennan grinned, "Come on, if we get there and you're miserable then it'll give me an excuse to leave early." Her eyes sparkled at her own mischievousness.

"Ok, I'll go…When did you get so persuasive?"

"Didn't know that I was."

He squinted at her, trying to figure out if she was being sincere or cute – he couldn't decide. "Right…I'm gonna grab a shower."

Brennan took a few steps forward to casually watch him walk down the hall although she wasn't sure why. Then, he whipped off his shirt before stepping into the guest room and she was very glad she had. Booth had always taken good care of himself and stayed in excellent shape but he hadn't looked like this before. His back appeared to be carved out of marble and for a split second, Brennan couldn't remember the name of any of the muscles she was admiring.


	9. Chapter 9

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

- Virginia Woolf

Later that night the Jeffersonian Christmas party was in full swing when Brennan and Booth finally arrived. Sweets and Finn were talking with a very old and very boring linguist and his wife when Booth caught Finn's eye.

"Oh…My…God!" she shrieked, making the older couple jump and forcing Sweets to guide her away from them.

"Samantha! You just about gave Dr. Chase and his wife heart attacks, what is wrong with you?"

"Look at them." She spun her husband around to face the entrance, "I mean alone they 're beautiful creatures but together they're just…it's not fair."

"I'm surprised that she had the foresight to invite him or that he agreed to come."

"I'm not, I think Triple S wants his life back."

"We've all been trying to give it back to him for years."

"Yes, but we're not the ones that he'd take that kind of gift from – she is."

They stood, watching the as the former partners timidly made their way into the center of the room. Sweets had to admit that they made a striking pair, Booth in dark grey slacks and light grey sweater, Brennan in a dark blue, almost black, dress that held her curves and still left much to the imagination. Observing them now made him remember why, in the beginning, he had always questioned their true feelings for each other. As they approached, Sweets stepped forward to greet them, "Booth, I didn't think I'd see you here tonight."

"Well, Bones asked me to come and it's not like I had anything else to do so…Here I am."

"It's good to see you out and about."

Brennan glanced around nervously, Finn picked up on this, "Excuse me but there's something I want to show Temperance in the other wing." She grabbed Brennan's hand and pulled her away from the men.

"How was staying at Brennan's?"

Booth looked around the room, Brennan had been right, he did miss festive squints, "It was fine Bones and I had an interesting talk about things – she said a few things that I think she's been holding on to for a long time. And Baba seems to like her so that's good."

"Right, because what your dog thinks is ever so important."

"Hey, he's a great judge of character."

"Did you really need him to judge Brennan's character?"

Booth glared at Sweets and chose to ignore his question. "Did you know that Bones bought a house?"

Sweets laughed lightly, "Yeah, she took Sam and I out there a few weeks ago. It's massive, 8 bedrooms. Why does a single woman need 8 bedrooms? Sam jokingly asked her if she was planning on starting a brothel. Which of course made Brennan start listing the benefits of legalized prosti-"

Booth cut him off, "I know her thoughts on that…I just wonder why now? Why buy a house when she's single?"

"I think that Dr. Brennan believes she'll always be single. She's not the type of woman to plan her life around a man…any man."

Booth sighed, "She never was."

"Have you thought anymore about the job offer?"

"Sure, I think about it all the time."

"And?"

"I said I think about it, not that I've made a decision… Where'd your wife take off to with Bones?" He craned his neck to look over the room and couldn't find Brennan anywhere.

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"Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit."

Edward R. Murrow

Brennan managed to make Finn stop pulling her when they reached her office, she stepped in and turned on the light, "Sam what is your problem – the party is out there." Brennan gestured to the area outside her glass walls.

"I know but the story is in here. Spill it, T."

"What story?"

"You know, how was the slumber party with Seeley?" Finn took a seat on the edge of Brennan's desk and waited for a reply.

"It was fine."

"That's all?"

"What's all? I was wondering if you were here or not. Sweetie, I know we go through this every year but the party is out there." Angela announced as she walked into Brennan's office.

"Actually, Angela this time it's my fault – I dragged her back here to pump her for info."

"Info about what?" Angela took a seat next to Finn and waited for Brennan.

Finn leaned over to Angela and said out of the corner of her mouth, "We didn't have any room for Seeley at our house last night so we sent him over to Temperance's"

"Sweetie! Why am I just hearing about this now?"

Brennan snarled at the two women, "Angela, I haven't had a chance to talk to you – he just showed up at my door last night. And Sam, there's no 'info' to spill. Can we get back to the party?"

"No!" The two perch on Brennan's desk shouted.

"What do you need to know?"

"How was it?" Angela asked

"It was fine, we talked and got a few things cleared up but other than that there's not much to discuss."

"What did you clear up?" Finn chimed in.

"That's between Booth and I – it's personal."

Angela looked at Finn, "That's one thing about the two of them. Things are always 'personal' when it comes to their issues."

Brennan looked at her two friends and realized that she had to give them something or they would be pestering her until the New Year. "I will say this, he's in much better physical shape now than he use to be. Can we go back to the party now?"

"Hold on…This is a new development."

"What Ange?"

"You're observing Booth's physical appearance?"

"Did she not observe it before?" Finn asked.

"If she did, she never let on."

Brennan rolled her eyes, "Can we go back? Please?"

"So let me get this straight, you were partners with Booth for how long?" Finn asked

"6 almost 7 years."

"Right 6 years and during that time you two were very close, correct?"

Brennan nodded.

Angela interjected, "I would go as far as to say that you were as intimate as 2 people could be without being physical. Is that correct, Bren?"

Finn shook her head in amusement, "And you never noticed that he was attractive?"

"I never said that."

"Did you ever notice that he was sweet and caring with you?"

Brennan nodded, "Yes, he cared, I think."

Angela smiled, "He did, trust me."

"But during those years that you worked together and were so close you didn't harbor any romantic feelings for him, is that correct?" Finn asked.

"There was a line we couldn't cross, so no, not really."

"And now he's back and looks amazing but he's screwed up and pretty cold emotionally and now you're attracted to him."

"What does that mean? What does that say about me?"

Angela laughed, "Sweetie it says a lot. What do you think it says Finn?"

"That before, when Booth was here and had his stuff together you, Brennan, didn't feel like you deserved him but now that he's messed up you think it might be ok."

"You guys do not know what you're talking about. Before Booth and I were partners and close friends, nothing more and now…now we're friends, I think…but definitely not more than that. I don't think that we'll ever be as close as we once were."

Brennan followed the other women out of her office back to the main gathering. The entire walk back she wondered about what Finn had said, what if she was finding herself attracted to Booth now because he was so damaged – what did that say about her?


	10. Chapter 10

"A true friend will tell you the truth to your face - not behind your back."

- Sasha Azevedo

Christmas night Sweets found Booth sitting outside on the deck looking up at the stars.

"You know, if I ever get around to building a house I'm make sure it has a deck like this one – I love it."

"It is great, of course most people get more use out of it in the summer but you seem to be finding all sorts of cold weather use for it." Sweets took a seat next to Booth, "Good day, huh?"

"Great day. No major meltdowns and I only had to leap up from the table once to reign Bones in – that's a great day."

"Have you told her about the job offer yet?"

"Nah, just when I think I'm ready to tell her or ask her opinion about it I lose my nerve."

"Maybe you're worried that you won't be able to tell her no when she asks you to take it." Booth looked at Sweets who was looking up at the sky as if he hadn't just made his last remark, "Or maybe I don't want to come back and I don't want to hurt her by letting her know that it was a choice."

Sweets shook his head, "No, that's not it."

"Yeah, I know that's not it."

"Can we talk about what it really is?"

"If we must." Booth shook his head and covered his eyes.

"It's Gwen."

"You know what, I take back every mean thing I have ever said about you, you _are_ a genius…Of course it's Gwen, it's always been Gwen!"

"She wouldn't want you to be unhappy."

"Really? That's interesting…"

"Why since she's the reason you are so unhappy?"

Booth hated to admit it, "Well…yeah."

"I don't think that Gwen's the reason you are so unhappy even though she has a lot to do with it…I think you're unhappy because you let this all get away from you."

"What's _all_ this?"

"You're life, your friends, your grief and your anger – you let it all get away from you. The man who was always in control and had everyone else's back doesn't even have his own these days. _That's_ why you're unhappy."

"How do I start to get it back? It seems like the hardest thing in the world right now."

"It'll get easier – especially now that you know you want it back. That's music to my ears and many, many ears too. Most of them are inside my house _right_ now."

"Not everyone in there cares as much as you think."

"Who doesn't care?" Sweets couldn't imagine anyone not wanting him back.

"That's not important now…Finn's family moving out in the morning?"

"Yes, finally. I love my wife but her sisters are sooo loud – I haven't gotten more than an hour or two of sleep all night."

"So, it's ok if Baba and I spend the rest of the week here?"

"Of course – I thought things with you and Brennan were good?"

"They are, I just feel more comfortable here and you have the fenced in yard that Baba loves and…It's best if I'm here."

"Ok, you're always more than welcome. Although I would like to point out that you just said you are more comfortable at my house than at Brennan's – how does that make you feel?"

"Odd but there's nothing I can do to change it, not now."

"Booth, I'm only going to say this once, Come Home. I think you'd be surprised a how non-odd that will feel."

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"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention."

- Chuck Palahniuk

Brennan had left Sweets' place before Booth, it had been a long few days and she needed some time alone. Time to think about the fact she truly had missed Booth, not as a partner or a friend but as major part of her life. She more than missed him, she needed him but she suspected that he needed her more now. She had felt the emptiness for years but never more than having him so close these past few days, knowing that he would again leave – soon.

Just she was ready to head to bed she heard Booth's keys in the front door. She smiled at the thought that after all these years Booth still had the keys to her place.

When he saw her walking into the living room Booth said, "You know Bones, it's been 3 years – you really should have had your locks changed since then."

"Why, I only gave copies to people I trusted. Not like Angela's gonna turn into a serial killer over night."

"I suppose you're right."

"I'm going to head to bed – I want to get to the lab early…G'night Booth."

"Hey Bones, before you go to bed can we talk?"

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

"I wanted to thank you for letting me crash here these past few nights but I think me and the mutt are going back to Sweets' place tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I thought that…I understand."

He smiled and took a seat next her on the couch, "Bones, this has nothing to do with you – you have been great. Finn and Sweets just have more room and they have a yard with a fence so that makes Baba happy…but I have enjoyed staying here…with you."

"I'm glad, I've liked having you and your mutt here as well. Breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure, there's one more thing I wanted to talk to you about."

Brennan's heart jumped into her throat, she couldn't imagine what else they needed to discuss, "Yes?"

"I wanted to tell you that I've been offered a new position, here in DC."

Brennan's eyes lit up, "Back with me, I mean us at the Jeffersonian?"

"Not exactly, I'd be the director of a new unit that Cullen is putting together. I would oversee all the agents that are liaisons to other agencies. It's a pretty big step up from what I've been doing but it would be different."

"I think it's great Booth, when do you start?"

"I haven't accepted it yet."

"Why not? It's a huge step up for you and it's something that you know a lot about. Working with different agencies getting them to do what you need."

"Let's be honest, I only got you to do what I needed after I gave you what you wanted."

"Exactly, you're good at the give and take stuff."

"Maybe…You know, if I came back it would be different."

"Booth, I know."

"We wouldn't be partners."

"I get it."

"We couldn't pick up right where we left off because..."

"Because we're different and not partners."

"We wouldn't see each other that much."

"We never see each other now."

"What does that mean?"

"Booth, if I had to choose between having lunch with you every other week and not seeing you for three years - I choose having lunch every other week, I always choose every other week."

"Really?"

"Why does that surprise you?"

"I think it would be harder."

"Harder?"

"Don't you think that a geographical separation is easier to deal with than an emotional one?"

"Normally, I would say yes but right now we have both and neither of them is easy. Fix the least hard first - geography. The rest might come and it might not but you won't know unless you try."

"Where is old Bones? What have you done with her?" He smiled, "Seriously, it's nice to see you this…this balanced. But part of me misses you seeing the world in black and white."

"I've learned that grey has its place in this world. An important part."


	11. Chapter 11

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

- Clarence Budington Kelland

"Hey Dad, do you think that you'll ever come and live back here?" Parker asked his father while they were on their way back to Rebecca's house after a day at a local hockey game.

"Maybe Bub, would that make you happy?"

"Of course, I'm starting soccer in the spring and everyone knows that you're the best coach we ever had…."

Booth could tell that there was something else on his son's mind, "What else Park?"

"It's just that with you being gone everyone is sad."

"I know it makes you sad that I'm not here, it makes me sad that I'm not here all the time too."

"Not just us Dad, _everyone_; Aunt Finn, Uncle Lance, Mom, even Bones is sad that you're not here. They would never say it to me but they are."

Booth thought this over for a minute how could his son, his 10-year-old son, know that these adults were sad. "It's been a bad couple of years and sometimes the best things to do are the hardest."

Parker leaned forward from his seat in the back when they came to a stoplight, he was tall enough and heavy enough that he didn't need a car seat anymore, he laid a chubby hand on Booth's shoulder and asked, "How can it be the best thing if it's so hard? If this is my home, shouldn't it be your home too? Dad, Come Home – I miss you."

Booth couldn't argue with logic like that, mainly because it was his own logic. Not only had Parker started to look more and more like his father, with every passing year he was starting to think like him as well.

When they arrived back at Rebecca's Parker ran outside to get his new skateboard he got for Christmas and Rebecca took the time to grill Booth.

"You never did call me with your list – which city gets Seeley? Richmond or DC?" She asked as if she didn't already know the answer.

"DC has everything I want and need but Richmond is safe." He looked his old love straight in the eyes and didn't blink once.

"You have never played it safe, Seel. It's the reason you were a Ranger, a gambler and an FBI agent. It's the reason you set out to tame Temperance and save Gwen – you thrive on the challenge of what might happen and let's face it, nothing's happening in Richmond."

Booth sighed, "I hate that you know me so well but I hate even more that you're not afraid to tell me exactly what you think. Why is everyone else so worried about my feelings and you aren't?"

Rebecca took a step closer to him, smoothing the creases across the arms of his jacket, "Because I already lost you once and I don't foresee that happening again. You and I didn't work, we were a mess from the beginning but that little boy out there – the one that's going to come tearing through here any minute with a million toys to show you and questions to ask you…"

"Becca…"

"Seeley, he needs the man that you were, the man that you will be again. Show him by example that no matter how hard life hits you, you will always hit it harder."

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"All I wanted was just what everybody else wants, you know, to be loved."

- Rita Hayworth

"What is going on in Brennan's office?" Booth asked as he arrived at the Jeffersonian to meet Hodgins for lunch, noticing that the door was shut and the blinds were pulled tight – something that had once been reserved only for when the former partners fought and they didn't want to invite the world in.

"Oh, you know how we're having that big New Year's party tonight? Well, Angela decided that the theme should be old Hollywood and she talked the American culture curator into letting the ladies borrow some of the authentic dresses from the display. They're all fighting over one in particular but I think it's only going to fit Dr.B."

"Which dress is that?" Booth couldn't help himself, he was intrigued.

"You'll have to come to the party to see." Jack said with a grin on his face.

"I had planned on heading home before that but,,,"

"Come on big guy, I know you're dying to see what those woman decide to wear."

* * *

"Sweetie, it's perfect! I only wish it fit me or I'd be wearing it tonight."

"You don't think it's too much – I mean it doesn't leave much to the imagination."

"That's the idea. Here try on the gloves."

Brennan slipped on the full-length gloves and suddenly she felt transformed, like she was a new woman, a daring woman. She felt like she had that time in Vegas with Booth when he convinced her to become Roxie. Free to be a different person, a person who could say or get whatever she wanted. She decided to step out into the lab to get a better look of herself in the dress in the women's bathroom.

As she opened the door, she saw the last person she ever expected to see. Booth was standing there mouth hanging open. "Bones…that's…whoa."

"It's beautiful isn't?" She smiled as she smoothed her hands down her hips suddenly feeling as if she was wearing nothing at all, "It's the actual dress that Rita Hayworth wore in Gilda."

"It really is…It suits you." He managed to hoarsely force out. All the years he had known her he had only seen her look so overtly sexy before but that was a long time ago. Then Angela came up behind her.

"We all wanted to wear it but it only fit Bren – go figure."

"Yeah, go figure." Booth watched as the women scurried off to the bathroom.

"Dude, they all look amazing – who knew that Dr. Brennan had that body hidden under that lab coat."

"Angela and Cam didn't look too shabby either – I think Cam was supposed to be Marilyn Monroe and Angela?" Booth asked

"Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor's Cleopatra mind you."

"Hey Hodgins, do you mind if I skip lunch?" Booth turned and looked at the scientist.

"If you must…"

"I do, I have something to take care of and it can't wait." As a matter of fact he only had 12 hours left to take care of what he needed to do.

"Will I see you tonight? You know our parties are legendary."

"Yes, I'll be there. I will be there." Booth turned on his heel and walked out of the Jeffersonian – he was a man on a mission.


	12. Chapter 12

"Yeah Im hot blooded, check it and see  
Feel the fever burning inside of me"

- Foreigner, _Hot Blooded_

"Where did Booth go?" Brennan asked once she changed back into her normal clothes.

"He said that he had something to take care of. But he will be at the party tonight."

"I thought he was going back to Richmond today?"

Hodgins smiled, "Apparently, something changed his mind, Gilda."

"Please Hodgins, Booth doesn't do anything because of me. He does what he wants, when he wants."

Angela stepped in and dragged her friend away from the group, into an empty hallway. "Sweetie, why do you think Booth has stayed in town all week?"

"To spend time with Parker…Ange we said a lot of things to each other before Christmas – things that needed to be said but were hurtful. I have a hard time looking at him now." She looked down with shame in her eyes, "I called him a coward for staying gone so long and every night since I've had dreams about him."

"Good, hot dreams?" Angela asked with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Once or twice…but mostly they're dreams about what could have been. Dreams about him and Gwen and the life they should have had."

"Look Bren, Gwen has been gone for 3 years. I can see it in Booth's face, he's ready to move on but he needs a push in the right direction. And the only person he'd ever accept that kind of push from is you. You are his go to gal, always have been. Not as partners or lovers but as friends, really more than friends – it's like you two share the same…the same soul. When he hurts you hurt, when you're happy, he's happy and vice versa for both scenarios."

Brennan leaned into her friend and let the tears in her eyes, tears that she had been holding carefully for years, finally release themselves. She hadn't cried that hard since the night Gwen died, the night she found those notes that proved just how much he had loved that other woman, "I just…I just miss him so….so much." She said between sobs. " I never understood him or why he liked me… or cared for me so much but these years without him have been…I never thought it was possible for a heart to actually break but…"

"Yours did…I know Sweetie," Angela rubbed her back, trying to soothe her friend.

Brennan pulled back from her friend and tried to regain her composure, "I want him to come home, but I want him to do it because he wants to, not because he feels like he owes it to me or anyone else." She leaned up against the wall, "Did you see that smile? Do you know how dull my world has been without that smile? I didn't even know I missed it so much…"

"I'm not the person who needs to hear this. Tell Booth."

"I can't, whenever we try and talk we end up fighting."

"Isn't that how you always settled things in the past? You are two hot-blooded people who need to yell and scream and shout to hear each other and if that works for you – who cares?"

"I don't want to yell at a grieving man, it's not right."

"I don't think he's grieving anymore. I think…I think that he can still have the life he always wanted but it has to be shown to him – he has to be show that it's possible."

Wiping away the rest of her tears, she said, "And it's up to me to show him?"

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"Smile - It's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

- Mae West

Booth felt ridiculous walking into Hodgins' house dressed in black pants and a white dinner jacket. It had been Finn's idea for him to come to the party dressed like Humphrey Bogart – it had been Booth's idea to not come at all. He had wanted to go home that night, home being Richmond – he'd been away for over a week and was afraid that if he stayed gone any longer he would never want to return.

When he left the Jeffersonian earlier that day he had every intention of going to the Hoover building and telling Cullen that he wanted the job but something stopped him – he didn't know what but something unseen and unknown forced that Camaro back toward Sweets' house.

"Oh Booth, you look hot… I don't even know if hot is the right word. Not many men can pull off a white dinner jacket but you do it very, very well."

"Thanks Angela, don't you have a man?" He smirked.

"I do and he's dressed as Julius Caesar – I love a man in armor." She smirked right back at him. She watched him look around the room, "Bren's in the other room."

"That's good to know – I wasn't looking for her, I was looking for Finn. I never got to see her final costume. I did see my little Sweet-tart as Charlie Chaplin – talk about a little tramp."

Angela sighed, "Go find Brennan I'm sure she'll be happy to see you." She stepped closer to him and whispered, 'When you see her smile – she misses that. She really misses that."

"She say that?"

"She may have eluded to that but she didn't have to tell me in words – that oh-so-dreamy-grin you've got makes us all a little happier but it does something to her that I can't explain – she needs it."

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"She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.  
"Come in," she said,  
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."  
- Bob Dylan, _Shelter from the Storm_

Brennan saw him the minute he entered the main room. There was no way she couldn't have noticed him. He was handsome personified – she was certain that one day they would replace the definition of the word in the dictionary with a picture of him in that suit. Her first instinct was to go to him but what would she say, besides she had been kept busy all night by numerous men all wanting to dance with her or at least Gilda.

As the night wore on, she felt him staring at her. His intensity growing with every dance invitation she accepted and every joke she laughed at.

"Hey there, big boy." Finn purred as she sidled up to Booth.

"Jeez Finn, I get it that you love your costume but don't ever call me 'big boy' it sounds so very dirty coming from you."

"Mae West was a woman with a mind constantly in the gutter – let me play the part… Look at her in that dress, Lance says they all fought over it but it only fit her…She looks amazing, she's truly a classic."

Booth cleared his throat, "Who?"

Finn scoffed, "Who? The woman that you've been staring at for the past 2 hours – go ask her to dance…Now!"

"Just because you tell me to do things doesn't mean I do them. I'm a man – I do what I want."

"Seeley Ryan Booth – go ask that beautiful creature to dance!"

Slowly and unsteadily he made his way toward Brennan, there was something very reminiscent of a high school dance as he made his way over to her. "Bones, do you want to dance with me? It is almost midnight…"

She looked up at him and smiled, "I would love to dance with you, Booth."

As they made their way to the dance floor the band started to play _As Time Goes By_, they would never be certain if the party throwers requested the song or not. Booth held her close, closer than she could ever remember him holding her before, not while dancing in Washington or all the years of guy hugs – something that Hodgins had taught her didn't really exist. There were a million of things that Booth wanted to say to her, that she looked amazing, that Rita Hayworth had nothing on her, that he wanted to come back to DC simply so he could see her on a regular basis, that he was sorry for everything but he ultimately decided that there would be time for him to say all that and more. Words would ruin the spectacular feeling of her leaning into him, letting him lead. He was certain that had never happened before.

She felt good pressed up against him, with Booth she had always felt safe – no matter what happened between them he was always there to keep her safe but now she felt something else. He was broader now than he was before, more solid and she suspected a whole lot more powerful. She didn't know what she was feeling and that scared her. Was it desire? Was it attraction? She wasn't sure but she was sure that when the song ended it was over too soon.

She looked up at him when the song was over to see him smiling. That smile she needed – the one she had missed and suddenly it was all too much. She pulled away from him and walked into the dining room. He let her go, knowing that something had happened on that dance floor and she needed a moment to herself. He secretly loved that he still knew she needed time to herself to digest things.

Booth looked around the room at all the people he had left, the same people that wanted him back. He decided that no one in that room would make his decision easier, there was only one who could and she had escaped to another part of the house. He searched the rooms until he found her, the one person that could tip the scales completely in favor of him returning. He made his way over to her, swallowed his pride and fear and asked the question that had been on his mind since…since the day he left actually.

"Bones, do you want me here?"

"Here at the party?"

"Don't be cute, do you want me here in DC?"

"What? Booth, what kind of question is that?"

Booth sighed and pulled at the bow tie that Finn had forced him to wear, "Everyone, in their own way, has asked me to come home but you ...and I thought that..."

"Booth, this is your home but only you can make that decision. Who am I to tell you what to do?"

"Bones, you're my..." Before he had the chance to finish his thought, Hodgins called everyone into the great room for the countdown to midnight.

Waiting for the countdown to begin, Brennan was standing as close to Booth as possible without being in his arms, she could feel his breath on her neck and she was dying to know how he would have finished that sentence had they not been interrupted.

For the first time in all the years they had known each other, she had no doubt that being this close to Booth was exactly where she wanted to be, she wanted to be even closer but for him, she held back.

As the clock crept closer to midnight, she turned around to face him, taking one gloved hand and reaching it around his neck. As she pulled his head closer to hers he thought for sure that she was going in for the obligatory Happy New Year kiss but instead of bringing her lips to his own she brought them to his ear and whispered, "Come Home." Two simple words, so simple that they had taken a complex woman like Temperance Brennan 3 years to say them.

Before Booth had the chance to look up and regain eye contact with her, she was gone. Lost in a sea of partiers, lost in an abyss of confetti and noisemakers.

~The End~


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

2 months later

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.  
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,  
and they're always glad you came.  
You wanna be where you can see,  
our troubles are all the same  
You wanna be where everybody knows  
Your name."

- Cheers Theme Song

Brennan and Booth didn't talk much after the party at Angela and Hodgins'. He had to go back to Richmond the following day and she was slightly embarrassed by how she had asked him to Come Home and very confused about the new attraction she felt toward him. So, she had been avoiding his calls and when she couldn't avoid them, she cut them short.

As Brennan sat in her office on a cold February day, she tried to reconcile in her mind the reason that she was attracted to him now, why was he occupying her thoughts _now_. Maybe Angela was right, with him being damaged she felt like she was deserving of him but that didn't ring true for Brennan. She hated to see Booth so broken – she missed the strong man, the funny man, the overly confident, slightly cocky man.

The truth was Special Agent Seeley Booth for all his charm and swagger was the man that she had been comparing every other man to since he left…no, not since he left, since the day she met him. There had always been a slight ache within her when she thought of him, an ache deep within that she didn't understand before – she understood it now. But he was living a different life now so she would have to live with that ache, the same way she had learned to live with it when he drew that line, somehow it was easier to live with then. Maybe because then her heart wasn't open but it was now and she owed that to him.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

With Brennan's two words whispered in his ear right before midnight, Booth made a decision. A decision he had been wrestling with for months, maybe even years - it was time to go Home. He kept his decision to himself – only telling Cullen and the guys in his office in Richmond. He wasn't sure how to tell everyone else, he knew that they would all know that the party had swayed him and he was slightly embarrassed by that. He had always been a man who stuck to his guns, who made his own destiny but there was something about the way Brennan felt leaning into him and the way she looked up at him with those crystal eyes that pushed him into wanting to live and not exist, as Finn had been telling him for months that he needed to do.

After dropping the final box onto the floor of his new house in DC, he looked around. It wasn't his old place, it didn't have the same welcoming feel but it would do, for now. It had 2 bedrooms, one for him and one for Parker and a fenced in yard for Baba – it was everything he needed. What he wanted would come later.

Booth watched as Baba O'Riley Booth sniffed the new place out, stopping to look at Booth as if to say _This place is alright_. Booth bent down to scratch the back of his buddy's neck, the place where the white met the brown and he quietly said to the dog, "I'm home."

** The next story is titled _Sweet Redemption_ and it will be posted soon**

Thanks for Reading!!


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